Loads of people quickly jump into dating and consequently a new relationship soon after the last one ends.

Oftentimes, these are people who don’t want to process the relationship and what led to the end of it.

It is much easier to find a new replacement than it is to process what just led to the last one ending.

When you fall into this trap, you are making yourself susceptible to making the same mistakes over again.

Yes, you had a degree of culpability in the breakup.

It takes two to tango.

If you are incapable of looking at yourself and where you shared responsibility for why the relationship ended, you are bound to go through the same issues with the next guy you date.

Taking some time out to do this internal introspection is scary.

This means that you actually have to look at yourself as someone flawed.

It’s much easier to point to an ex as a villain so that you can play the victim.

Such is human nature.

No one wants to be the reason why a relationship ended and have to face criticism from those close to them such as friends and family.

When you paint yourself as the victim, you get sympathy.

This makes you naturally feel validated in not having to look to yourself for any culpability you had for why the relationship ended.

Without the weight of having to do the internal introspection required to figure out where you shared responsibility for the relationship not working out, you quickly run into a new relationship.

There is no shortage of men who are attracted to you.

There are several men in your social circle who like you and would date you in a heartbeat.

Whenever you go out to a nightclub, bar, pool, birthday party, barbecue, or on vacation, there are a plethora of men who show an interest in you.

With all of this attention, you quickly start dating again.

Before you know it, you have entered into a new relationship with a new man.

At first, it’s fun and exciting.

He loves talking to you and taking you out on dates.

The conversations are filled with laughter and fascination.

You are intrigued and elated and feel safe with him.

All of this gives you a false sense of security.

You are thinking that you have leveled up and that your ex-boyfriend is a thing of the past.

Sadly, this is misguided.

Being that you never took the time to evaluate the previous relationship and your own behavior, you haven’t made the necessary changes to how you think.

This means that the new guy you have chosen is most likely similar to your ex-boyfriend.

The signs become more apparent the longer you are with him and the initial euphoria you felt for him starts to fade.

He has the same arrogance and lack of emotional intelligence that your ex-boyfriend had.

In turn, your behavior is reversing to what it was like when you were in a relationship with your ex-boyfriend.

You are showing signs of being overbearing and judgmental.

He tolerated this for a while, but now that you are both a month or two into the new relationship, he is showing his disdain for it.

Sometimes, this results in him giving you the silent treatment whenever he is with you, choosing instead to play video games and ignore you.

Other times, he takes too long to respond to your text messages or voicemails.

All of this only aggravates you that much more, which makes you that much more overbearing, judgmental, and argumentative.

All of this is so familiar.

It is exactly what you went through with your ex-boyfriend, and all of it could have been avoided if you had taken the time to self-reflect and evaluate after the relationship ended.

How soon you should start dating after the end of a relationship depends on how long it takes you to self-reflect and evaluate.

When you do it judiciously, it can take anywhere from three to six months.