There have been far too many occasions when you have been drawn to these controlling men.

The truth is, controlling men have certain qualities that you are attracted to.

With regularity, controlling men are confident, highly successful in their professional careers, have wealth or are very financially solvent, have leadership instincts that attract a lot of people who look up to them, are bold and aggressive in going after what they want, etc.

Controlling men have these qualities, and you have a history of being drawn to men with these qualities.

This is relevant as to why you keep finding yourself in relationships with controlling men.

First and foremost, to stop attracting controlling men, you have to acknowledge that you have a tendency to be drawn to men with the qualities that controlling men have.

Once you acknowledge this, you then have to ask yourself about what you deem to be controlling.

What you deem to be controlling may not be what the so-called controlling man in the relationship with you deems to be controlling at all.

To him, it is setting boundaries in a relationship as opposed to being controlling.

If he tells you that he doesn’t like it when you go out with your girlfriends to night clubs without him present, he doesn’t necessarily see this as controlling.

He sees it as how he keeps you from being in a situation where you are surrounded by men who only care about getting you drunk, seducing you, and having sex with you or putting you in a compromising position where you are unsafe.

If he isn’t present, you are a prime target for these men, and he believes that by setting a boundary in this area, he is protecting you as well as the integrity of his relationship with you.

When you choose to be in a relationship with someone, it isn’t fair to think that you should still enjoy all of the same freedoms you had when you were single, and this is no different from what you should expect of the man you choose to date.

When you get into a committed relationship with a man who previously had a tendency to follow lots of girls on social media and interact with said girls through flirtatious DMs, you expect him to change that behavior by stopping it altogether out of a respect for you and the new relationship.

The man who deems this as an unfair expectation is showing selfishness and insensitivity in wanting to continue doing what he did as a single person by enjoying loads of female attention on his social media.

Rather, his primary concern should be to take his new girlfriend’s concerns to heart and stop that kind of behavior.

So, it’s important that you are clear on what kind of behavior you believe to be controlling.

If you gravitate to men who are natural leaders and are popular, as well as educationally, professionally, and financially successful, they are bound to have certain behaviors that can be considered “controlling.”

It’s important that you are capable of interpreting whether his behavior is actually “controlling” versus that of setting boundaries.

Oftentimes you will know if you are dealing with a man who is genuinely controlling when he is instantly judging everything about you the moment he starts spending money on you as he courts you.

His financial expenditure on you makes him believe he has ownership over you, and this is what leads to him being overly critical or judgmental of you from the get-go.

This is where he is criticizing what you order on a dinner date he is paying for and proceeds to critique your personal mannerisms or quirks and table etiquette and, during conversation, expects you to agree with all of his opinions, no matter how outlandish and misinformed they are.

This is a truly controlling man who should never have the privilege of seeing you again the moment you get away from that first date and safely get home.

Outside of a man who exhibits this clear and abhorrent controlling behavior, be careful you don’t misconstrue a man who sets boundaries in a relationship as a man who is controlling.