The men you have been dating aren’t the kind of men that genuinely excite you emotionally and create a poignant spark.

On paper, they look good.

They are physically attractive, have a good education and career, make good money, come from reputable families, have life goals, etc.

As a result, you are compelled to go out on a date with such a man.

After all, when so many of these boxes are checked, it is hard to ignore all of it, especially when such a man has demonstrated an interest in you.

Whether you meet him at the workplace, on a dating app, or if he is introduced to you by friends, it always makes sense to agree to go on a date based on how many desirable qualities he possesses as a potential mate.

The initial dates usually go well too.

There aren’t terrible red flags that occur on these dates.

If anything, green flags abound.

He plans the dates, shows up on time well-dressed, has polite conversation that never goes into unsavory territory, pays for the dates, and by the end of them all, asks you to text him to let him know you got home alright.

Thanks to seemingly successful initial dates, you keep agreeing to going to subsequent dates with him.

As time passes, his passion for you grows, and he expresses it through getting you flowers, planning more elaborate and expensive dates, introducing you to his circle of friends, showing a keen interest in wanting to meet your parents and extended family, etc.

As this happens, you know that his emotions for you are deepening.

You should be feeling the same emotions, and yet you don’t.

Try as you may to feel as passionate for him as he is about you, you struggle with it.

It gets to a point where it feels as though you are inadvertently using him for all the kind gestures he does for you, as you struggle to match his energy.

This is where the same old panic that you have become all too familiar with when you date men like this sets in.

It is happening again.

This man, who is clearly kind and considerate and becoming increasingly serious about you, isn’t someone you can see yourself having an exclusive and committed future with.

Even though he checks all the boxes in reference to his qualities, there is clearly something missing.

This is where you finally acknowledge that you have gotten bored.

It’s only been a few weeks, and yet you are struggling at the thought of seeing him again or talking to him on the phone.

At this stage, you want to detach yourself from the courtship and be free.

As you speak of your doubts about having a real future with this seemingly perfect man to your friends, they encourage you to stick it out, given that he is such a perfect match for you on paper and his behavior thus far has been so wholesome and generous.

But deep down, you know that if you were to accept another date from him, you would only feel that much more miserable at the date.

So, you do what you have done in the past in these situations by ending the courtship.

Men like this are too predictable for you.

Too nice.

He says all the right things and never challenges your ideas.

He sets no boundaries.

It’s as though if you chose to misbehave by being rude to him or procrastinating on responding to his text messages, he would easily forgive it.

All of this makes him too boring.

Biologically, you are wired to date a man who keeps you guessing.

As in, you aren’t always entirely sure of where you stand with him.

He sets boundaries.

He isn’t always so quick to respond to your text messages and voicemails.

This is a man with a life of his own who isn’t making you the center of it as so many of the men you get bored with tend to do.

He routinely disagrees with some of your opinions and isn’t afraid to be critical of you.

This is the kind of man that stimulates you emotionally.

Which means you won’t get bored of him so quickly.

Every fiber of your being will crave committing to him as your one partner, as this would mean that you have conquered and tamed the beast.