Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Although you see yourself as unattractive, it doesn’t mean that you are incapable of attracting anyone. Sometimes, a few adjustments you make to how you present yourself changes everything.
Looking more fashionable in how you dress, or keep your hair, as well as having more inviting body language often makes all the difference in attracting someone to you.
This said, there are lots of places for unattractive people to find boyfriends and girlfriends. If the bar, party, and nightclub scene is not what you are comfortable with, joining interest groups around activities you love is an area where you get to meet more people like yourself.
These are people who are already interested in these activities, which makes it so much easier for conversations to happen. Unlike bars, parties, and nightclubs, there isn’t a perception of superficiality.
There isn’t any pressure to be the prettiest or the best conversationalist. Rather, these are a group of people who have come together to participate in an activity of interest without any added expectations.
In situations like these, conversations and relationships develop organically. This opens the door to the possibility of making a connection with someone who ultimately becomes a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Bradley, a girl this beautiful has never shown a romantic interest in you in the past. You are used to dating girls who are average looking. Girls on your level.
A beautiful girl, that is also a model no less, is way out of what you are familiar with.
Given your unfamiliarity with dating women this beautiful, it’s normal to feel that she is out of your league. You have eyes to see after all. So does she. She isn’t stupid. She didn’t blindly choose to like you. She knows that she is far better looking than you.
That said, your looks have little to do with why she likes you.
Think about what she compliments you on. Is it your humor? Charm? Wit? Worldview?
There are factors about you that she loves. Those factors make up for where you lack in physical attractiveness.
Instead of feeling intimidated whenever you are in her presence, think about the reasons why she likes you.Know that you have value beyond what you look like on the outside.
As long as you develop this way of thinking, you won’t feel as intimidated anymore. Feeling less intimidated keeps you from unwittingly jeopardizing your relationship with her.
Trust in your value and quit overthinking the fact that she is out of your league in physical attractiveness.
When you are on dating apps, it is best to date more than one person at a time. This prevents you from keeping all of your eggs in one basket.
As you mentioned, there is a good chance that he is going out on dates with a few of the women that have shown on an interest in him on the dating apps.
It’s highly unlikely that he is ignoring those women, especially if he finds them attractive. Although he seemed to be on the same page as you when you both discussed the topic of loyalty on the one date you were on with him, it doesn’t mean that he meant that he is loyal to only one girl during the early stages of courtship.
Being that he is on dating apps, he is most likely taking advantage of all the hits he is getting on his profile. The last thing you want is to be left in the cold by not taking advantage of all the matches you have been receiving on dating apps.
You aren’t exclusive with this guy. There is nothing wrong or disloyal in dating more than one person at a time, while you are in the early stages of finding a potential partner.
You have already been hurt in the past when you chose to stick with dating one person at a time. Don’t make that mistake again.
It’s natural to take rejection personally. Especially when it is from a girl that you really liked, and hoped you had a chance with.
Being a guy, you are the one who takes the risk in asking girls out. That has been the case since humanity began and it won’t change. You have to get used to the idea of getting rejected. It is par the course.
There are very few guys on this planet who have significant dating experience who can sincerely tell you that they have never been rejected by a girl at some point.
The guys that have never been rejected are the ones who chose to date and marry the one and only girl that showed an interest in them. They don’t count.
A guy who has significant dating experience has dealt with a large number of girls, some of whom rejected him as he made moves on them. Getting rejected by these girls in no way meant that there is something wrong with him, given that he still had success with other girls.
Instead of taking a rejection personally, he took it as part of the process, and kept asking girls out. Some of those girls were winners. They became girlfriends to him.
You see, taking a rejection personally only hampers you from landing dates and finding girlfriends.
Rather than taking rejection personally, thinking that there is something wrong with you, let it go. Keep asking girls out and a percentage of them are bound to accept a date from you. Successful dating is about playing the numbers.
You shouldn’t give your crush a second chance. The only reason why he is back is for his desire to eventually hook up again.
Initially, he is acts as though he likes you as a person and wants to get to know you better. However, his true intention is to get you to lower your guard and open up to him again.
So, he plays nice for a while, taking you out on a few dates to get you all warmed up to him.
But, all of this is nothing but a smokescreen. Once you have lowered your guard, his true intentions come out. He wants another hookup, and once he gets it, he is ghosting you again.
This is the cycle that occurs when you are dealing with someone who has already ghosted you in the past. If he truly saw you as a potential partner, he would never have ghosted you to begin with.
Try not to let your emotions for your crush cloud your judgment. He mustn’t be given a second chance.
Yes, a guy that has sustained eye contact with you and lingers when he touches you is flirting with you. He is doing all of that with the intent of getting you to reciprocate. It is important that you do. A lot of girls make the mistake of shying away from reciprocating when a guy is making flirtatious gestures at them.
The thing is, by doing this, you are risking him taking this to mean that you aren’t interested in him. A guy wants to know that the woman he is flirting with is into him.
Should he get the impression that you aren’t, on account of a lack of reciprocation, he loses interest in you and moves on. So, be sure to reciprocate the next time he flirts with you. This sends the message to him that you are interested, which encourages him to ask you out on a date in the foreseeable future.
In the early stages of dating, it’s a good idea to avoid touchy topics. That said, much of this depends on the dynamics of the two parties. Some people thrive on bringing up some of the topics you mentioned, such as those that are about sex, religion, politics, or an ex. That said, the safe bet is to avoid these topics when it is still early.
Other topics that have a risk of causing annoyance on a date are those about money and socio-economic status. This can be misconstrued. One party concludes that the other is a financial opportunist, while the party that brought it up is thinking about mutual financial solvency. It’s best to keep topics fairly generic in the early stages of courtship, until a camaraderie and rapport has been established.
It’s alright Beverly. You aren’t the only woman in her 30s who has never been on a date before. There are other women who are in their 30s that have had a similar history. A woman that grows up in a strict family and goes off to college and ultimately the workplace without ever having gone out on date with a guy. Don’t get too caught up on what to expect on this date.
Rather, come up with a handful of questions to ask him on the date, and spend the rest of the days leading up to the date directing your attention to other tasks. Do activities that keep your mind from constantly thinking about the date. This keeps you from coming up with all kinds of made-up stories in your head that aren’t true.
These made-up stories have a tendency to make you more nervous and anxious before a date, and you don’t need that.
Do other tasks to keep your mind away from constantly thinking about the date. On the day of the date, take another look at the five questions you have prepared beforehand, take a deep breath, wear an outfit you are comfortable in, and head out to the date. Once there, let him lead. A guy is the one who leads on these early dates. Let him. Simply react and respond to his cues.
As long as you do this, you will be fine. By the end of the date, let him pay for it. Remember, you are the prize here. He is courting you. A guy that financially invests invests in a courtship by paying for the dates, is more emotionally invested in courting the woman. Let him lead, and let him pay.
Unless you want to make yourself believe that your ex-girlfriend chose to date you knowing full well that you were ugly, it is highly unlikely that you are hideous. The fact is, girls have a much easier time finding boyfriends than guys have finding girlfriends.
Girls are pursued by men. Men, for the most part, aren’t pursued by women. She didn’t have to do much of anything to find this new boyfriend. He approached her. Wooed her. Proposed an exclusive relationship to her. He was the one that did the lion’s share of the work. With these advantages, it’s no wonder that your ex-girlfriend has easily found someone else.
As a guy, you have to put in more work to find a new girlfriend. You are better off not focusing on what she is doing. Rather, look to your life and where you can make positive changes. If you gained weight while you were dating her, thanks to complacency, get into the gym and start working out so that you lose the weight and become more physically attractive to women.
Also, expand your social life. Get into the habit of going out to social events more often. This gives you exposure to multiple women at a time which increases the likelihood that one or more of them takes an interest in you.
You shouldn’t tell a girl verbally that you want to kiss her before going for it. It ruins the moment. It makes you come off as though you lack confidence by playing it too safe. If you are worried about whether you should go for a kiss, observe her body language beforehand.
A girl that wants you to kiss her flirts with you as you talk to her, enters your personal space on multiple occasions, and makes sustained eye contact with pupils that are often dilated. All these body language cues let you know that you should go for the kiss.
Yes, there are lots of guys who are 6 feet tall and beyond who are attracted to girls your height. Your height is not a deal breaker for guys. At 5 feet 3 inches, you are close to the height of the average woman. The average height of a woman is roughly 5 feet 3.5 inches.
So, you are in good company. There is no need to worry that you are too short for guys. Guys aren’t all that concerned about a girl’s height. At least, not as much as women are concerned about a guy’s height. He is more so concerned with whether you are attractive in the face and in good physical shape.
Your height isn’t much of a factor when he is looking to find a woman to date. As long as you are reasonably attractive, in good enough physical shape, and have a good attitude, you won’t have any trouble whatsoever attracting men.
