After putting in the time and effort to make yourself look good, you go to a date and realize not too long after that you are being stood up.

This is a terrible feeling, and it probably isn’t the first time you have experienced it.

It is never a good feeling, as it makes you question your physical looks and worthiness.

Knowing you are a good person who deserves to date a good man, it is stupefying when you get stood up.

What makes it that much more baffling is how well you were getting along before a date was offered.

The conversations were fun and energetic, filled with laughter and lightheartedness.

The chemistry seemed palpable.

Of course, all of this got you excited.

Before you knew it, you were talking to your mom and girlfriends on the phone about him.

They could tell that you were excited about him, as you energetically told them about how funny, charming, and sweet he was.

When he asked you out on a date, you were beyond excited.

And yes, your mom and girlfriends were the first ones to know that the guy you had been gushing about had asked you out on a date.

It is with this excitement and energy that you prepared for the date.

You were asking your mom and girlfriends for an opinion on what outfit you should wear.

You went to your favorite beauty salon to get your hair and nails done.

On the day of the date, you took hours preparing yourself and applied some of your most expensive makeup.

You debated on taking a rideshare or driving to the location of the date.

The decision you made on which one depended on how familiar you were with the area and its proximity.

If you are familiar with the area and it is close enough, there is a higher likelihood that you drive.

Either way, you get to the location of the date, anticipating a good time.

At your table, it doesn’t take long before you realize that he should have already arrived.

You look at your smartphone a few times to confirm that you didn’t show up at the wrong location or at the wrong time.

Someone shows up that you think is him.

But soon after, you see him walk to someone else’s table and realize it isn’t him.

As the once intense energy starts ebbing out of you and your smartphone becomes what you are using for company, a waiter comes back around for the umpteenth time to ask about whether you would like something.

All this does is make you feel that much more self-conscious.

You can see that the polite waiter already knows what you don’t want to admit.

The dire reality is that you have been stood up.

All of a sudden, all of the expectations you had for the date go up in smoke.

When you finally accept that you have been stood up and make your way out of the location of the date, that feeling that you aren’t worthy enough returns to your consciousness.

Don’t take it too personally.

People get stood up all the time, regardless of how well they got along with the person of interest beforehand.

Unfortunately, not everyone has the morals you do.

Given the proliferation of dating options through dating apps, social media, speed dating, singles events, etc., plenty of people believe they have endless options.

To this end, he doesn’t have the same level of urgency to follow through on a date as he would have if all these dating options weren’t available to him.

He won’t have any qualms using you for your attention through conversations on the phone, over video chat, on a dating app, or on social media but won’t follow that up with showing up on a date.

To mitigate the likelihood of getting stood up, learn how to gauge whether a guy is actually interested in you rather than using you for attention when he talks to you.

This is where you assess the quality of the conversations you have with him.

Are they of substance and designed to learn about who you are as a person?

Alternatively, are they superficial and designed to be sexually titillating?

A guy who spends more time wanting to know about your favorite position in the bedroom rather than what you are passionate about and what you want to achieve in life isn’t interested in who you are as a person.

A guy who is interested in you as a person doesn’t only ask questions of substance but also follows up on your answers with additional questions.

This is the kind of guy who is far less likely to put you in yet another situation where you are stood up.

Given the substance of the conversations, he would be excited to meet you in person so as to ascertain whether the conversational chemistry translates to real-life chemistry.