For the longest time, you were stuck on the romantic fantasy of falling in love with the perfect man who would sweep you off of your feet.

You still remember the butterflies you felt when you went out on your very first date with your first crush.

Sadly, those butterflies weren’t long-lived.

The reality of actually going out on dates with him made it clear he didn’t fit the picture of who you had dreamed your perfect man to be.

Disappointed, you moved on.

The next guy you dated seemed to have all the promise in the world.

That relationship didn’t work out either.

As you dated more men over the years, you began to see a common theme.

Men who lied, cheated, and abused.

This recurring pattern did tremendous damage to your self-worth.

That confidence you once had in who you were has been lost, thanks to endless nights crying yourself to sleep, heartbroken by a man who lied, cheated, and abused you.

As someone who loves and loves deeply, you have suffered at the hands of these men.

You have been crushed emotionally several times, which has brought you to where you are today.

You don’t have interest in men anymore.

Whenever you are out and about in public, you ignore men like they aren’t there.

The body language you exhibit is as closed-off as it gets.

There is no eye contact, smile, verbal greeting, etc.

It’s like you are in your own world.

Many a time, you have your headphones on and your head is down, looking at your smartphone.

When your girlfriends gather together and talk about men, you don’t care too much for the topic.

When you go out to social venues with them, such as nightclubs and bars, you aren’t looking out for cute guys like they are.

Instead, you are focused on talking to your girlfriends or looking at your phone.

You would much rather not be in such an environment, but you go anyway so as not to be antisocial.

Even when you are invited to house parties, you spend most of the time talking to your girlfriends.

You do everything in your power to avoid eye contact and proximity with the men who show up at the house party.

This behavior is such a contrast to how you once were.

The hopeless romantic.

All of the lies, cheating, ghosting, bread-crumbing, verbal abuse, and finessing you have been through with men you have dated have left you completely jaded.

As someone who once had the biggest heart, always ready to love and nurture a partner, you are a shell of who you once were.

You have since realized that men don’t interest you anymore.

Although this sounds like the appropriate approach, given how poorly your dating life has been, it has more to do with fear.

You have developed a self-defense mechanism within you designed to keep you from exposure to this type of heartbreak.

Losing interest in men is how you protect yourself from this suffering.

It’s natural for someone to do this when they have experienced so much pain in dating.

Nonetheless, you shouldn’t succumb to this mentality.

Use this period to do a self-assessment.

Look back on the men you have dated in the past.

Are they similar in temperament?

If they are, it means this is the kind of man you are drawn to.

Sadly, these types of men aren’t good for you.

Think about opening yourself up to men who bear different traits.

If some of the women you know, such as friends, family, and co-workers, are in healthy long-term relationships, study their male partners.

Take account of their characteristics.

These are the characteristics you should be looking for in a future partner.