After so many failed attempts at dating men you have met through romantic channels, you are thinking about a different approach.
That of meeting a romantic partner through friendship.
This is new territory for you, as you have religiously regarded your friendships with men as separate from your relationships with men you are romantically attracted to.
Since you haven’t had much luck with this, you are wondering whether you should change your approach.
The thought of doing something like this has caused anxiety.
This is the age-old anxiety that everyone in your current position worries about.
That of how this approach affects your friendships.
Many fear losing friendships when said friendships turn into romantic relationships that end and end bitterly.
These fears are valid, but as long as you are strategic in how you go about finding romantic relationships through friendships, there is an out that mitigates the impact of this outcome.
Before addressing this, the truth is that the best relationships do start off as friendships.
Nonetheless, there is a caveat to this.
This should be a friendship that isn’t all that close.
As in, this isn’t someone you talk to multiple times a day, every day, or someone you hang out with every weekend.
This is a friend on the periphery.
He is a part of your social network, but he isn’t a part of your core group of friends.
When there is this type of distance, it fosters a sufficient amount of mystery.
The lack of constant access to each other inspires curiosity.
Unlike a close male friend who is part of your core group of friends and becomes so familiar you begin to look at him as you would a sibling, a friendship with distance causes a dearth of information you aren’t privy to.
You don’t know everything there is to know about him, nor vice versa.
He hasn’t been privy to personal stories from you about your mean boss or crazy cousin.
You two speak and get along, but you don’t have a play-by-play on what is going on in each other’s lives at any given moment.
This is the type of friendship that fosters a slow and steady development of mutual attraction that happens organically.
He isn’t so close to you that you can only see him as a pseudo-sibling, and he isn’t so distant that you don’t quite remember the last time you spoke or hung out.
The fact that there is so much more to learn about each other facilitates a more organic path to romantic attraction.
Think about making friendships with men who aren’t in your inner circle.
These are the men who are the best candidates for romantic relationships in the future.
Given that a mutual rapport has gradually developed over time, thanks to occasional conversations and social hangouts, a degree of trust and familiarity has been established.
As you both inevitably begin infusing flirtatious comments in your conversations, it feels natural and organic.
You won’t get the icky or awkward feeling that many women experience when trying to flirt with men who are a part of their inner core group of friends.
Once flirting is successfully introduced into the conversations you have with this man, it culminates in a mutual agreement to meet on a romantic date.
The best relationships start from friendships like this because nothing is forced.
No one is too eager to get into bed with the other.
The romance develops organically and over time, after a lukewarm friendship has already been established.
The romance is a natural development borne of this friendship, not one artificially engineered through social media, a dating app, or a night club.
Needless to say, these artificially engineered relationships are often impulsive and rarely have the durability and dependability of those borne from a friendship.
Furthermore, in regards to the fear of losing out on a friendship should the romance end, there is an out that mitigates the impact of this loss.
If you both decide to no longer be in each other’s lives upon dissolution of a romantic relationship, you still get to maintain close friendships with all the male members within your core group of friends.