How Long Do Guys Stay Mad?

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How Long Do Guys Stay Mad?In general, a guy doesn’t stay mad for very long. Typically, he will feel that initial surge of anger but it does tend to dissipate within a matter of hours or a couple of days.

If you made a guy mad, your best option is to leave him be. The mistake that a lot of girls make is when they keep trying to assuage the guy or talk to him.

They keep calling, texting, emailing, etc., and this only makes the guy more mad.

Every time you do this, you remind him that he is actually mad at you.

He may have been in the process of actually cooling off and calming down.

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Now he sees that you have called him six times in the last hour and it infuriates him even more. He consequently stays mad at you.

What you have done here is prolong the fact that he is mad at you by your incessant attempts to communicate.

When a guy is mad, he needs his time away from that source of anger.

He may go hang out with his buddies, play some video games, fix his car, go for a drink.

In these moments, he is in his own head and just needs some time to allow his emotions to calm down.

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Now, sometimes, a guy will stay mad longer than he typically would because he really wants to drive a point home.

If there is something that you have been doing over the course of time that hasn’t agreed with him, he may decide to stay mad at you longer just so that you get it.

Perhaps you two always argue about money.

He may stay mad at you for a few extra days just to drive the point home that he doesn’t like these kind of arguments.

It doesn’t actually mean that during this entire time, he is still mad on an emotional level.

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Typically, he has already stopped being mad but he gives it another few days just to ensure that you understand that he doesn’t like these kinds of arguments.

A guy would be more likely to do something like this than actually tell you verbally about what makes him mad.

This is because guys tend to have a harder time expressing their feelings.

They weren’t taught how to do that as children nor have they been shown that by doing so, they aren’t any less manly.

Hence, in protest, he may do something with his body language as opposed to actually tell you verbally what is actually making him so mad.

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His body language in this instance would be aloof and constricted.

He would stay away from communication for a few extra days.

Again, your best option in this case is to simply give him his time to cool off.

Guys calm down relatively quickly and tend not to hold onto angry emotion for too long.

They don’t like doing that because it makes them feel weak.

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They let go a lot quicker than women in general because guys tend to feel like they have to be the “man” in the situation and avoid prolonging the emotional.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t always mean that they intend to have the talk with you and fix things after the fact.

This is where you may have to take steps to try to address the issue in the future.

Avoid doing so too quickly.

When he gets back with you, just let things be for a while.

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Let him get comfortable around you again before bringing it up.

You would have to bring it up because it is unlikely that he will.

Remember, by their nature and how they’ve been raised, guys would be less likely to talk about these sort of issues in a relationship.

They wouldn’t want to start expressing themselves because they may not know how or may consider it weak.

Hence, the onus would be on you to have a real discussion about issues that tend to make him mad and see if you can both find a middle ground.

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Be humble and let him understand that you recognize that the both of you need to work on this.

You are both in this together.

This is not a one way street.

Doing this would give you both the best shot at avoiding incidents like this in the future.

010By Luke Iwuji, a dating coach and founder of DatingLogic.net. For the best professional dating or relationship advice, Book a Session with me.


9 thoughts on “How Long Do Guys Stay Mad?”

  1. I love your advise you’ve hit the nail on the head with the advice you give. I recently was very nasty to my love interest and he has given me the cold shoulder for about 2 weeks. It is something I kept doing so I think he gave me extra time to get his point across. I finally heard from him. He said he is still in like and misses me and we’ll will talk again. I normally wouldn’t wait for a man, but in this case it was totally my doing, so I’m giving him his space like he asked. I have read this through and will totally take your advice.

    A

  2. I totally messed up in my relationship. He has to me me several times before that when I need to back off I should. But I didn’t. Then I kept calling and texting and sending nasty texts then apologizing and saying I love him. He has been gone for 2 days. I hope I get the chance to make it up to him.

  3. Hi Lisanne,

    As long as you back off and avoid contacting him, there is a decent chance that he will come back. If you continue calling, texting and apologizing, it is less likely that he will. So, you need to take a step back for now and give him the chance to come to you.

  4. Hi.
    I mad him mad. There. I said it, because I know it’s my fault. Now that I’ve long ago cooled down, I emailed him my apologies. Yes, I said apologieS, but in reading you I see that was a wrong move. Im emailing him though, and that’s just it because guess what? He actually reads them. I know because I have an email tracker (which he doesnt know I do). Im pleased that he’s reading them, but not pleased that he isnt responding.
    I read a couple of online advice that says if hes not responding it means he isnt interested. Yet Im of the mind that this is a disposable, throw away society, so I feel that I cant really go by such advice or opinion.
    Past Saturday made almost two weeks. How long is too long?
    Wait. Twice since our argument he did get back to me explaining himself, so at least that’s something I guess. His last words were “Do have a pleasant Sunday.”
    What’s that suppose to mean?

  5. Hi Etta,

    The last words he said to you may have simply been out of politeness and nothing more.

    Though it has been two weeks and you are wondering how long is too long, there are some guys who avoid thinking about the issue for as long as they possibly can.

    These are typically guys who are more sensitive and tend to hold on to emotion for much longer than the average guy.

    It is best not to send any more apologies to him. Also, avoid initiating contact.

    If you keep doing these two things, you may make the process of him being mad at you last even longer.

    Again, avoid initiating any more contact and let him come to you.

  6. Well thank you so much Luke!
    And you saying “there are typically guys who are more sensitive and tend to hold on to emotion for much longer than the average guy” made me feel not much better in itself but just a little clearer because I was thinking that too it’s too long and I really blew it. Thanks.
    Just to add something else, I told a girlfriend that he reads my emails over and over (I have an email tracker) especially those two particular ones, which I read to her. She feels those two expresses my affection for him, which is why he reads those two repeatedly. Your thoughts please?

    Thank you again.

  7. I recently got into a horrible argument with my boyfriend of over a year and it’s just really hard because I know that it’s all my fault. However, it was too late when I realized my actions, he told me that he has fallen out of love with me and have become numb towards me. He says that he still has love for me but not in the way that you would have with someone in a relationship, but I can’t let’s go. I love him too much. That’s why after a lot of convincing I told him to give me a week to try to rekindle the spark, but it has been so hard because he won’t open up to me again. It’s so crazy because the guy who used to be so madly in love with me is now suddenly so cold. I don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to end it because I am still so in love with him. The argument lasted nearly a week and He broke promises that he made to me. I think it might be time to let go, but it’s so hard and I don’t want to lose him. Please give me your thoughts on what I should do. Thank you.

  8. Hi, I was asked not to speak about my bf to a specific friend, and unfortunately I did. This mutual friend has a history of lying and exaggerating the truth and she’s told my bf what I said. See, I’ve been in multiple toxic/abusive relationships and each one has left me more insecure than the last. When I met my current bf, I was feeling secure in myself and thought I had conquered my insecurities. That is until my best friend ‘triggered’ something in me and brought back all the feelings of being unwanted, unloveable, not good enough, etc. I wanted to talk with him about it so bad but thought he’d think of me as too damaged and want to run. I began feeling scared he was making plans to live his life and felt he was going to break up with me at any moment, so I reached out to this mutual friend to vent about my insecurities. (I know I should have a long time ago but since this has happened I signed myself up for therapy to heal from these past relationships and to learn how to be in a real adult relationship). She promised our talk would stay with her, but she ran and blabbed to him and possibly added a few things (I think to gain his affection but she’s on the west coast and he’s here on the east). I have apologized to him (voicemail because he didn’t pick up) for violating his trust, and I’ve been trying to be as patient as ever and let him come to me, but I just got bad news about my health and need him as I go through what I’m about to go through. It’s been a week and two days since the fight and it’s been 4 days since his last text. (In it he said he wasn’t actually ignoring me just overloaded with school work) how do I fix this?? How can I make it all right, how do I explain myself and let him know that I know how wrong I was for confiding in her, when it should have been him. How can I tell him my side, the truth?
    Plz help me,

  9. This was so helpful! I mad my boyfriend really mad it was such a stupid thing that I did. Now he’s giving me the cold shoulder. It’s been 2 days and when his mad it doesn’t take that long for him to get over it, but this time I pushed big time. Hopefully if I give him space he’ll come back to me. Thanks for the advice!

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