How Long Do Guys Stay Mad?

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How Long Do Guys Stay Mad?

In general, a guy doesn’t stay mad for long.

There is an initial surge of anger, but it does dissipate within a matter of hours or a couple of days.

When you make a guy mad, your best option is to leave him be and avoid making the mistake that a lot of girls make in constantly attempting to talk to him.

The girl keeps calling, texting, emailing, etc., and this makes the guy increasingly mad.

Every time you do this, you remind him that he is actually mad at you.

Before your incessant attempts to talk to him after the inciting incident, he was conceivably in the process of cooling off and calming down.

Now, he sees that you have called him six times in the last hour and it infuriates him.

He consequently stays mad at you.

What you have done here is prolong the fact that he is mad at you by your incessant attempts to communicate.

When a guy is mad, he needs his time separated from that source of anger.

He goes to hang out with his buddies, play video games, fix his car, go for a drink.

In these moments, he is in his own head and needs some time to have his emotions calm down.

Now, sometimes, a guy stays mad longer than he realistically wants to so as to drive a point home.

This is especially true when you have been repeatedly doing something in the relationship that irks him.

He decides to stay mad at you longer precisely so that you get it.

For example, you two have a habit of repeatedly arguing about money.

He stays mad at you for a few extra days to drive the point home that he doesn’t like these arguments.

The few extra days isn’t a representation of how much he is fuming.

He is no longer mad on an emotional level, but he purposely gives it another few days to force you to recognize that he doesn’t like these arguments about money.

Giving it a few extra days is his passive-aggressive approach to showing you that he disapproves.

Guys have a harder time expressing their feelings.

They weren’t taught how to do that as children by their parents or community, nor have they been taught that doing so doesn’t mean they are any less manly.

Using a passive-aggressive approach with his body language, he hopes to get his disapproval across.

His body language in this instance is aloof and constricted.

He avoids communication for a few extra days.

The best option in this case is to give him his time to cool off.

Guys calm down relatively quickly and rarely hold onto an angry emotion for too long.

Holding onto anger for too long makes them feel weak.

Being that they are comfortable with using logic over emotion, staying mad at you for too long, is too much emotion for him to bear.

This works in your favor.

A guy’s disdain at being in his emotions for too long, forces him to stop being mad within a fairly short period of time.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean that he intends to have a heart to heart conversation with you when he comes back into the picture and is no longer mad.

This is where you have to take steps to address the issue in the future, but avoid doing so too quickly.

When he gets back with you, let things be for a while.

Let him get comfortable around you again before bringing it up.

You have to bring it up, as it is unlikely he does.

Remember, by their nature and how they’ve been raised, guys are less likely to talk about these sort of issues in a relationship.

Emotional expression in this capacity is alien to them and they consider it weak.

The onus is on you to have a real discussion about issues that make him mad and find a middle ground, with actionable steps to rectify the issues.

Be humble.

Own your flaws, so that he doesn’t feel like you are placing the entirety of the blame on him.

You are in this together.

Doing this gives you the best shot at avoiding incidents like this in the future.

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9 thoughts on “How Long Do Guys Stay Mad?”

  1. I love your advise you’ve hit the nail on the head with the advice you give. I recently was very nasty to my love interest and he has given me the cold shoulder for about 2 weeks. It is something I kept doing so I think he gave me extra time to get his point across. I finally heard from him. He said he is still in like and misses me and we’ll will talk again. I normally wouldn’t wait for a man, but in this case it was totally my doing, so I’m giving him his space like he asked. I have read this through and will totally take your advice.


  2. I totally messed up in my relationship. He has to me me several times before that when I need to back off I should. But I didn’t. Then I kept calling and texting and sending nasty texts then apologizing and saying I love him. He has been gone for 2 days. I hope I get the chance to make it up to him.

  3. Hi Lisanne,

    As long as you back off and avoid contacting him, there is a decent chance that he will come back. If you continue calling, texting and apologizing, it is less likely that he will. So, you need to take a step back for now and give him the chance to come to you.

  4. Hi.
    I mad him mad. There. I said it, because I know it’s my fault. Now that I’ve long ago cooled down, I emailed him my apologies. Yes, I said apologieS, but in reading you I see that was a wrong move. Im emailing him though, and that’s just it because guess what? He actually reads them. I know because I have an email tracker (which he doesnt know I do). Im pleased that he’s reading them, but not pleased that he isnt responding.
    I read a couple of online advice that says if hes not responding it means he isnt interested. Yet Im of the mind that this is a disposable, throw away society, so I feel that I cant really go by such advice or opinion.
    Past Saturday made almost two weeks. How long is too long?
    Wait. Twice since our argument he did get back to me explaining himself, so at least that’s something I guess. His last words were “Do have a pleasant Sunday.”
    What’s that suppose to mean?

  5. Hi Etta,

    The last words he said to you may have simply been out of politeness and nothing more.

    Though it has been two weeks and you are wondering how long is too long, there are some guys who avoid thinking about the issue for as long as they possibly can.

    These are typically guys who are more sensitive and tend to hold on to emotion for much longer than the average guy.

    It is best not to send any more apologies to him. Also, avoid initiating contact.

    If you keep doing these two things, you may make the process of him being mad at you last even longer.

    Again, avoid initiating any more contact and let him come to you.

  6. Well thank you so much Luke!
    And you saying “there are typically guys who are more sensitive and tend to hold on to emotion for much longer than the average guy” made me feel not much better in itself but just a little clearer because I was thinking that too it’s too long and I really blew it. Thanks.
    Just to add something else, I told a girlfriend that he reads my emails over and over (I have an email tracker) especially those two particular ones, which I read to her. She feels those two expresses my affection for him, which is why he reads those two repeatedly. Your thoughts please?

    Thank you again.

  7. I recently got into a horrible argument with my boyfriend of over a year and it’s just really hard because I know that it’s all my fault. However, it was too late when I realized my actions, he told me that he has fallen out of love with me and have become numb towards me. He says that he still has love for me but not in the way that you would have with someone in a relationship, but I can’t let’s go. I love him too much. That’s why after a lot of convincing I told him to give me a week to try to rekindle the spark, but it has been so hard because he won’t open up to me again. It’s so crazy because the guy who used to be so madly in love with me is now suddenly so cold. I don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to end it because I am still so in love with him. The argument lasted nearly a week and He broke promises that he made to me. I think it might be time to let go, but it’s so hard and I don’t want to lose him. Please give me your thoughts on what I should do. Thank you.

  8. Hi, I was asked not to speak about my bf to a specific friend, and unfortunately I did. This mutual friend has a history of lying and exaggerating the truth and she’s told my bf what I said. See, I’ve been in multiple toxic/abusive relationships and each one has left me more insecure than the last. When I met my current bf, I was feeling secure in myself and thought I had conquered my insecurities. That is until my best friend ‘triggered’ something in me and brought back all the feelings of being unwanted, unloveable, not good enough, etc. I wanted to talk with him about it so bad but thought he’d think of me as too damaged and want to run. I began feeling scared he was making plans to live his life and felt he was going to break up with me at any moment, so I reached out to this mutual friend to vent about my insecurities. (I know I should have a long time ago but since this has happened I signed myself up for therapy to heal from these past relationships and to learn how to be in a real adult relationship). She promised our talk would stay with her, but she ran and blabbed to him and possibly added a few things (I think to gain his affection but she’s on the west coast and he’s here on the east). I have apologized to him (voicemail because he didn’t pick up) for violating his trust, and I’ve been trying to be as patient as ever and let him come to me, but I just got bad news about my health and need him as I go through what I’m about to go through. It’s been a week and two days since the fight and it’s been 4 days since his last text. (In it he said he wasn’t actually ignoring me just overloaded with school work) how do I fix this?? How can I make it all right, how do I explain myself and let him know that I know how wrong I was for confiding in her, when it should have been him. How can I tell him my side, the truth?
    Plz help me,

  9. This was so helpful! I mad my boyfriend really mad it was such a stupid thing that I did. Now he’s giving me the cold shoulder. It’s been 2 days and when his mad it doesn’t take that long for him to get over it, but this time I pushed big time. Hopefully if I give him space he’ll come back to me. Thanks for the advice!

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