Would My Self-Confidence Improve Through The Failure Of Rejection?

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Would My Self-Confidence Improve Through The Failure Of Rejection?The first thing you need to do is avoid looking at rejection as failure.

This is the wrong attitude to have.

This is actually the kind of attitude that makes guys ultimately not go through with asking a girl out or get so anxious about asking the girl out that they completely mess it up when they do.

The problem with looking at rejection as failure is that you really don’t know what kind of girl that you are dealing with.

You don’t know what her mental state is at the time that you make your approach.

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You don’t know how her life is going and what difficulties she may be facing. If this is a girl that you don’t know well, you don’t know if she has a boyfriend.



You don’t know if she is at a time in her life where she may be single but isn’t willing to get into a relationship because she wants to spend more time with herself and friends or perhaps even travel.

You don’t know what kind of guys that this girl likes.

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She may like a particular type of look on a guy or a particular lifestyle.



In other words, you really don’t know where this girl is at in her life right now and what she likes.

Hence, if she were to reject you when you ask her out, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you failed in any way.

Making that assumption is so dangerous.

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Remember that you don’t really know where this girl is coming from. You don’t know what she wants right now.



If she were to reject you, she may be doing so because of her own personal reasons and nothing to do with you.

This is why it is really essential that you don’t keep personalizing rejection.

When you personalize rejection, you essentially take full responsibility for it. You give that rejection a very profound meaning that it didn’t really deserve.

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In essence, you blow up that rejection to such a level that you allow it to define who you are.



This is so dangerous.

This is how you can kill whatever self-confidence you had before you asked this girl out in the first place.

If you avoid personalizing rejection, your self-confidence can actually grow with rejection.

You would actually stop focusing on the rejection itself and more on the fact that you had the courage to step up to her and ask her out.

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Also, the less you personalize rejection, the less impact it has on you emotionally.



That means that your self-confidence will grow to such an extent that you don’t really care whether you are rejected or not.

You essentially become a lot less attached to what you are hoping to hear and more detached from the actual end result.

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Remember that you don’t know this girl, and if you do know her, you don’t know her all that well.



You really have to avoid creating all these dream-like scenarios in your head about what it would be like to date her.

That’s all a fantasy.

Thereby, the more you are able to stay grounded and avoid these dream-like scenarios in your mind, the less likely a rejection will affect you because you wouldn’t have attached so much emotion to the outcome.


What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.


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5 thoughts on “Would My Self-Confidence Improve Through The Failure Of Rejection?”

  1. They don’t want to be asked out. They want to be told that you intend on taking them out and then they decide if they want to keep the interaction going. See you know this stuff intuitively but you tell a guy like myself to ask a girl out and he’ll literally ask her.

  2. But that does explain why getting girls I don’t like is easier… Because I don’t care about the outcome XD

  3. Anyway I only have two options. Date girls that I don’t like or don’t date at all. I don’t find girls that I like. I just really want to like them 0_o

  4. Thing is being yourself and being a nice loving guy leads you to being like that 27 year old virgin who hasn’t spoken to a girl in 12 years who commented on one of your videos… Or that 40 year old guy who’s never dated who also commented on one of your videos. Putting myself in a wierd mindspace where I’m not quite my authentic self gets me results. I’m a young guy with biology driving me so what do you think that I’m going to do? Can you blame me for doing what works ? Interacting with others has already become second nature by now… When I try and take a break and go back to my old ways I fail because I forget and start interacting with people again. If I keep being Chad Thundercock in order to please women It’s not too far fetched that I may actually genuinely become that. I can’t keep up this break forever so that may happen. That’s what I’m worried about. Though perhaps I shouldn’t be, adapt and evolve 😉

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