Lots of men in relationships conform to what a female partner wants.

These men make certain changes to their lives and personalities to make their girlfriend or wife happy.

On the surface, it looks like he has made these changes.

However, he made these changes due to his female partner’s insistence.

Instead of being inspired to make these changes on his own volition without any prompting from her, so as to become a better version of himself, he makes them to appeal to her.

This is where the core issue is.

Even if the change is for the better, he didn’t make them from his own volition, independent of your influence.

He made them to appease you and to keep you happy.

Ergo, on the surface, it seems like he has changed.

He is taking the trash out more, taking more ownership over helping to clean the house, showing more emotional intelligence, giving you flowers on the regular, surprising you with exciting trips to new places, etc.

But, this wasn’t who he really was when you met him.

When you met him, he was lacking in several of these qualities.

Upon your insistence, he made the changes.

Consequently, you think you have changed him for the better.

Nonetheless, he only made these changes to appease you.

He sees a greater benefit in keeping you in his life, than in upsetting you by not acquiescing to the changes you are insisting on, and risking the possibility of losing you as a partner.

You see, he is making these changes to avoid losing you, not because he thinks this makes him a better man and partner.

What consequently happens is that over time he gets comfortable in the relationship.

Really comfortable.

To such an extent that he starts slipping up.

He isn’t taking out the trash as often, nor helping as much in maintaining a clean home.

He isn’t being as emotionally intelligent.

He isn’t being as romantic.

Next thing you know, you start complaining again.

He tries to get back into doing all these things, but he isn’t anywhere as diligent as he once was.

He is too comfortable in the relationship.

Thanks to this level of comfort, he isn’t as scared as he once was about upsetting you and risking losing you.

He believes that you are so invested in the relationship at this stage, that you are incapable of leaving him.

Sadly, this is what happens when a man makes changes due to what his partner wants, as opposed to making them due to a genuine desire to become a better man and partner.

Eventually, he falls back to his old habits.

Once the relationship has lasted a sufficient length of time, he gets comfortable.

He believes that the two of you are too far in to leave each other.

There is far too much to lose.

So, he becomes less consistent with the changes he initially made for you.

Changes you thought were going to be permanent.

Keeping this in mind, you can’t really change a man through and through.

Any changes that occur are a result of his fear that in not making said change, he risks losing you.

Much of this fear dissipates the longer the relationship persists.

A change that occurs as a consequence of his own initiative is considerably more likely to last than one brought about by your urging.