It sounds unconditional and thereby romantic, but think twice.

Dating or marrying someone with a disability is introducing an extra layer of complication in a relationship that most able-bodied people aren’t prepared for.

If you are a physically active person, dating or marrying someone who has a physical disability is extremely challenging.

This is someone who is physically incapable of performing the same physical activities you love to do.

Whether it be hiking, cycling, mountaineering, running, kayaking, pickleball, tennis, horseback riding, ice skating, martial arts, etc., these are physical activities you won’t be able to share in with this person.

Even though you convince yourself that this shouldn’t be an issue, as you can do these physical activities with friends, this doesn’t change the impending fallout.

Your disabled partner will feel that he is being left out whenever you are gearing up to go hiking, kayaking, cycling, etc., with friends.

In time, these complaints become aggravating, as it gets tiring having to keep reassuring him that he shouldn’t feel left out.

The aggravation finally compels you to start complaining to your hiking partners about your partner’s sentiments.

This introduces a third party into your relationship problems, which is a recipe for disaster.

Receiving opinions from people who have no emotional investment in your relationship is asking for trouble.

They are capable of giving you bad feedback, which influences how you interact or regard your partner moving forward.

This draws a wedge in your romantic relationship with your partner over time.

If somehow you get through this stage and get married to this person, you are now signing up for a brand new set of constricting expectations.

Once married, your disabled partner will expect you to put aside your physically active lifestyle and prioritize them and the marriage.

You could get away with going off to do these physical activities while you were dating, but that changes if you choose to get married to him.

He believes that in choosing to marry him, you have signed up to a lifetime dedicated to appeasement.

This entails whatever sacrifices are necessary to appease his physical drawbacks, all for the well-being of the marriage.

This means that you are now stuck in a situation you cannot escape unless you divorce.

Going through all of the trouble to get married just to get divorced a few years later is a heartbreaking experience that is both financially and emotionally draining.

And now, sadly, that is the only option left to you when you have a disabled partner who expects you to sacrifice your favorite pastimes to prioritize the well-being of the marriage and their happiness.

This aside, there is a different scenario.

That of someone who doesn’t have a physical disability but a mental or cognitive one.

This presents its own unique challenges as well.

Someone with depression, PTSD, ADHD, autism, dyslexia, etc., struggles with learning, communication, memory, and problem-solving.

Although he can have long stretches of time where he is perfectly normal and functioning, don’t be misled into thinking that this means his disability is manageable.

The longer you are with him, the likelier you will see an increase in how often these outbursts happen.

If you were to get married to him, you would have unconsciously given him a license to have more of these outbursts.

After all, in choosing to become his lifelong spouse, you have sent a subliminal message reassuring him that you accept him for who he is, despite all his flaws, and that you are ready to experience him at his absolute worst.

That means the outbursts become more frequent and intense.

All of which goes far beyond anything you experienced while you were dating him.

Needless to say, it isn’t a good idea to date or marry someone with a disability, except for a few exceptions.

You are similarly disabled, have grown up with and cared for disabled people, such as family members, or have consistently dated disabled people in the past.

These exceptions make you fully knowledgeable of what to expect.