There has been a constant struggle to find the man you want.

Whenever it has seemed as though you found him, something ruined it.

He wasn’t as aligned with your future goals as you initially thought he was.

His family was too dysfunctional.

His past trauma was suddenly revealed.

Outside of personal shortcomings, you have also had to deal with situations where a guy’s physicality wasn’t up to par.

It’s as though life is playing a cruel joke on you.

You meet a guy with the right temperament, who is in alignment with your future goals, but then, he is physically unattractive, too short, too old, etc.

There have been occasions where you considered giving these men a chance, but the lack of physical attraction always gets in the way.

Years have now gone by and you are fearing the prospect of never meeting someone to spend the rest of your life with.

You are worried about ending up without a husband and a family, and the very real possibility that you die alone.

This has led you to thinking about just settling.

There have been several moments where you thought it better to be with someone that you settle for, than continuing to be alone.

Although the idea of just settling is becoming more and more significant in your everyday thinking, this is actually a bad idea.

Just settling with someone is a recipe for disaster.

When you are settling, you aren’t with someone you actually want to be with.

You chose to be with him for fear of never having a family and dying alone.

With this mindset, the prospect of you growing to resent him is profoundly strong.

As the years go by, you keep noticing all the things about him that you never liked.

These are all the shortcomings that you were fully aware he possessed before you chose to settle for him.

Now that you have settled for him and time has passed, all these shortcomings come into the forefront of your thoughts.

You are no longer overlooking them.

Now that you are with him, you see them that much more clearly.

You complain about a litany of his shortcomings whenever the opportunity arises.

His short height, balding head, menial profession, etc.

Everything you disliked about him before you chose to settle with him has become all you are capable of seeing.

Over time, this creates resentment in you for him, and resentment in him for you.

It makes for a profoundly unhealthy relationship that is doomed to fail.

Rather than just settling, think about taking a deeper look at the requirements you want in a potential mate.

As the years have gone by, you have changed and grown as a person too.

It’s possible that there are requirements you once had in a potential mate that you no longer have.

To this end, do an update to your requirements.

Remove the requirements that are no longer relevant to the person you now are, and other trivial requirements that are easy to live without.

In pivoting to the essential requirements that match who you now are, it makes for qualities in a potential mate that are much more realistic to find.