Approaching Women In Bars Isn’t Working For Me?

Approaching Women In Bars Isn't Working For Me?

Try as you do, you keep hitting a wall when it comes to having any success with the women you approach in bars.

Although you step up and make the first move, it never goes anywhere.

The women are rarely enthusiastic to talk to you and it feels like you are pulling teeth to keep them engaged.

It’s not like you aren’t asking her questions.

You are doing that and more.

Asking questions, cracking jokes, teasing, complimenting, etc.

Nothing has worked and you don’t know whether you should bother going to bars anymore.

That being said, there is a part of you that doesn’t want to give up.

You have friends who have had success with approaching women in bars.

Mimicking what they do in bars hasn’t helped.

Book A Dating Coach

They score and you don’t.

This interminable failure with women you approach in bars has crippled your confidence.

Your exasperation is noted, but take solace in knowing that you are amongst many men who fail at approaching women in bars.

Lots of guys are in your position right now.

All hope isn’t lost for you.

Book A Dating Coach

Women are in bars for a reason.

Yes, she loves the attention, but she is hoping to hit it off with a guy.

The guys who are successful at approaching women at bars aren’t all that better than you.

Unless they look like male supermodels, who are a teeny-tiny proportion of the population, their looks aren’t that far off from yours.

Most guys are about average in looks.

Book A Dating Coach

Bearing this in mind, you are just as capable of having the same success these guys have when they approach women in bars.

Women in bars already have their guard up.

She knows that there are a bunch of inebriated guys purely looking to get in her pants.

With this recognition, she has a wall up emotionally.

She has her girls there too to have her back, in case a drunk, overzealous guy gets too touch-feely with her.

Book A Dating Coach

Improving your success with women at bars requires that you approach them with an angle that lowers her defenses and opens her up to you.

First and foremost, don’t be drunk.

This separates you from the majority of guys who she won’t give the time of day upon approach.

Not being drunk puts you at an advantage, as it has you in control of your faculties.

This control has you keeping your hands to yourself and talking without drunkenly slurring your words.

Book A Dating Coach

To get her enthusiastic about talking to you, open a conversation around something that struck you about her.

Something she is wearing, her accent, a tattoo, etc.

Eschew anything sexual or explicit in nature.

After a short conversation back and forth, leave her be and wish her a good night.

This gives her a break from you.

Book A Dating Coach

In the meantime, there are a bunch of guys approaching her who are inebriated and ticking her off.

She is turned off by their paucity of decency.

Once she gets a break from them, come back to her.

She recognizes you on sight.

She remembers that you were polite, conversational, respectful and had control over your faculties, which are a far cry from what she has been enduring from inebriated guys who have been approaching her since you left.

Book A Dating Coach

This elevates you in her eyes.

She is excited to talk to you again.

You ask her follow-up questions around a topic you talked about earlier.

She is impressed that you remember those details.

Leave her be again.

Book A Dating Coach

Give her space.

During this time, a bunch of drunk guys are going to come at her again, trying to get lucky, spewing pickup lines in their drunken stupor.

Once she gets a break from them, come back to her.

She recognizes you and is so happy to see you again.

At this stage, ask to take her somewhere at the bar that is less crowded.

Book A Dating Coach

She is so relieved to see you, she has no trouble agreeing to your suggestion.

As far as she is concerned, you are her knight in shining armor.

Once you have moved her away from the crowd, there is less distraction, which means there is less competition, and you now have her undivided attention.

This is where you get to connect with her on a deeper level, ending with you getting her phone number.

A day or two later, contact her with a message asking her out to coffee, lunch, dinner or drinks.

Book A Dating Coach

Seeing your name pop up on her phone instantly triggers good memories in her.

You were the guy who saved her from all the rude inebriated guys at the bar a night or two ago.

This compels her to agree to your offer, curious as to where this leads.

Just like that, you have had success approaching a woman at a bar.

Subscribe To Dating LogicDatingLogic In Your Inbox

Get the very best dating advice straight to your inbox!