After such electric chemistry which culminated in having sex with each other, he pulled away.
It didn’t take long either.
After weeks of constant communication and fabulous dates, he suddenly flipped.
Prior to having sex, he would message daily, but after you had sex with each other, the messages diminished.
Given how accustomed you were to hearing from him, you didn’t miss this.
After a few days of this strange behavior, you brought it up to him, wanting to know whether something was wrong.
He said there wasn’t.
But nothing changed, and you continued to be the one initiating conversations with him.
He would respond, but he never seemed enthusiastic.
A phrase here, an emoji there, a word or two here, etc.
It was like night and day from how he was prior to having sex with you.
You are hurt.
This guy isn’t a player.
As you got to know him over the last several weeks, you learned that he is a relationship-type guy.
His last sex partner was a girlfriend he was with for years.
His propensity for long-term relationships over hookups is a reason why you felt exceptionally safe in having sex with him.
That is why you have been left befuddled that he pulled away after sex.
You would understand it if he was a player.
But he isn’t.
There is no surprise when a player pulls away after sex.
That is what a player does.
It’s in his nature to pull away after getting what he wants.
But this never crossed your mind with this guy.
He was a gentlemen.
He was consistent in asking you out on dates and paid for them.
When the sex happened after weeks of courtship, it was mutual.
It lasted a while and he seemed completely satisfied when it was over.
You did your homework on this guy before having sex with him and he checked all the right boxes.
You went as far as watching his social media posts daily.
They were positive, primarily centered around harmless topics.
And no, he wasn’t following a bunch of Instagram models.
He seemed like a good all-around guy.
Yet, he has pulled away after sex.
You don’t get it.
I feel your pain.
Unlike so many people who succumb to their intimate desires too early into courtship, you were in control of yourself, making sure you gave him time to court you, as you simultaneously vetted him.
He ended up pulling away after sex regardless.
A guy like this is stuck on a previous relationship.
He is a relationship-type guy.
He has a history of staying in relationships for a while.
It’s hard to move on from someone you have been with for years, especially for guys.
Guys aren’t good at acknowledging and resolving their emotions in the moment.
They keep those conflicted emotions bottled up inside, not addressing them until a significant amount of time has passed.
Unfortunately, it is possible that this is what is happening with this guy.
The emotional repercussions of a previous breakup has left him emotionally unavailable to you.
He thought he was over it.
But like a typical guy, he never addressed his emotions in the moment.
He thought he could move on to someone new and act like these emotions didn’t exist.
He was wrong.
Upon having sex with you, he realized that your expectations of him are now going to be significantly greater.
Worried that he won’t have the capacity to meet those expectations, he pulled away.
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