There is a difference between becoming a better person for the benefit of yourself and your relationship versus completely changing your persona or identity in a relationship solely for the benefit of your partner.
Becoming a better person for the benefit of yourself and your relationship is typically the healthier part.
Being in a relationship can be a very rewarding experience.
It can get rid of loneliness and open you up to a person that can help you become even better than what you were.
You may be able to look at certain topics or ideas that you have always had in a different way.
You may be able to pick up new healthy habits from your partner that helps you enjoy life in a more fulfilling way.
You get to experience this thanks to the new insight that your partner has given you in this relationship.
These can all be very good things.
Even if this relationship doesn’t last, you can still take a lot of the good qualities that you gained from it with you.
This approach is beneficial to you.
It should be done willingly.
It is the best route to take when you want to help a relationship.
If you know that you tend to be a selfish person and your partner is nothing like that, you may start trying to be like your partner so as to improve the relationship.
You are not necessarily doing this for the sole benefit of your partner.
You are doing this for the benefit of the relationship, as well as for your own.
You are doing something positive that will ultimately help both parties involved.
This is the healthiest way to go about doing something that is beneficial.
It should be grounded in what is beneficial to the relationship as a whole as opposed to only your partner.
That is the danger that some people in relationships often get into.
You may want to make your partner happy so badly that you change everything about yourself or give up on so many of the ideals, just to appease her.
Unfortunately, once you start down this road, it will be insatiable.
You will have to give up something else and another and another.
You will eventually end up becoming something that you don’t even recognize.
Your own sense of independence would have been stripped and replaced by the persona of a stranger.
You will find it difficult to stop because it will never be enough.
It is never enough because your partner may want perfection.
Truth is, there is no such thing as perfection in relationships. However, you don’t understand this either.
You want so badly to make your partner happy or appease her that you will do whatever it takes to benefit her.
She will demand more because she feels like perfection isn’t here.
She wants that perfection.
She may not even know any better.
She will always have a new need even when an old one has been met.
Even when she thinks that she has now reached the point of satisfaction with you, something new will come up.
It’s human nature.
She may notice a couple walking around one day and realize that she wants what they have. After all, they look so happy.
Now, she wants you to do more for her benefit so that she can get that elusive happiness.
It just simply never ends.
Your lesson is to avoid changing yourself for the benefit of someone in your relationship.
Becoming a better person should be mutually done and should be done for the benefit of the relationship and not only for your partner.