When you are in a real relationship, there is a natural give and take that never feels forced or fabricated.

Either party contributes to the relationship equally.

Neither party is doing the lion’s share of anything, whether it be with complimenting, organizing, conversation, chores, etc.

If there is a lopsidedness in any of this, it has been agreed upon by either party, so that it still ends up being balanced out when everything is taken into account.

When you are in a real relationship, there is an even balance that is clearly obvious.

You know that responsibilities in the relationship are balanced because neither party is exhausted or overly stressed about what they contribute to the relationship.

It takes two people to be in a real relationship.

These two people contribute equally to the relationship to make it work.

When you have been working far too hard to make the relationship work, you are not in a real relationship.

You are the one who has to set up the dates and call to confirm them.

You are the one asking the questions in an attempt to get to know your partner better.

On top of this, you are the one constantly appeasing your partner by doing what they want, as opposed to doing what you both want.

All of this means that you are not in a real relationship.

You are being used.

The thing is, your instincts are a great guide in letting you know whether you are in a real relationship or being used.

Listen to those instincts.

People struggle with this part.

They don’t want to listen to their instincts, not wanting to acknowledge what those instincts are telling them.

Your instincts are telling you to look back on how this partner has been behaving all along.

Take a moment and reflect.

Set your feelings for this partner aside for a moment.

Once you do this, you clear your mind and gain insight into what has been happening.

You know that you are being used when you barely get to see or hear from him, unless he wants something from you.

You know that you are being used when he rarely takes you out, and has you pay for most of the dates when you do go out.

You know you are being used when he is often asking you for favors, but when you ask him for a favor, he comes up with an excuse not to help.

These actions are clear as day, and what they signal is a guy that is using you.

This wasn’t so hard, was it?

Your challenge is to acknowledge that this is what you have been going through.

Once you look back on your relationship with this guy and realize that this is what has been going on, you know that you have been getting used.

This is when you make the decision about whether you are better off staying with this partner or leaving.

It’s going to be tempting to tell yourself that this guy is going to change.

Don’t fall for it.

His actions over a sustained period of time demonstrates that he isn’t inclined to change.

In the end, if you are looking for a real relationship, you are better off leaving this guy.