When you are in a real relationship there will be a give and take.
You will feel like both parties are contributing in an equal manner. There will be interaction that feels natural and not forced.
In other words, one person isn’t going to be doing the majority of the initiating.
It will be more equal and mutual.
One person isn’t going to be giving the majority of the compliments or making the majority of the suggestions on where to go for a date.
Once you are in a real relationship, there is a balance that occurs that you will feel. You will feel it because you are not working so incredibly hard to make the relationship work.
It really takes two people to be in a real relationship. These two people contribute equally to the relationship to make it work.
When you feel that you have been working way too hard to make the relationship work, you may not be in a real relationship.
When it feels like you are always the one who has to set up the dates and even call to confirm them, you may not be in a real relationship.
When you are constantly trying to learn more about this person and they are barely putting any effort into learning more about you, you may not be in a real relationship.
When you find yourself constantly appeasing this person by doing what they want as opposed to doing what you both want, you may not be in a real relationship.
The thing is, your instincts are typically a very good guide in letting you know whether you are in a real relationship or being used.
You simply have to listen to them.
This is often the difficult part for a lot of people.
You are feeling like you are being used for a reason.
You are feeling like you are being used because your instincts are telling you to be smart.
Your instincts are telling you to look back on how this person has been behaving.
Your instincts want you to take a moment and reflect.
You need to set your feelings for this person aside for a moment and truly do this.
Once you are able to do this, you will be able to have a lot more insight into what has been happening.
You know that you are being used when you barely get to see or hear from him unless he wants something from you.
You know that you are being used when he rarely takes you out and has you pay for most of the dates when you do go out.
You know you are being used when he is often asking you for favors but when you ask him for a favor, he comes up with an excuse not to help.
You know all these things. You may have experienced them already.
The most challenging task you will have is to allow yourself to acknowledge that this is what you have been experiencing.
If this is the case, you understand that you are being used.
This is when you make the decision about whether you are better off staying with this person or leaving.
You may tell yourself that this person will change.
However, there is nothing to show that he will.
In the end, you would be better off leaving this person and finding another that you can have a real relationship with.