He Isn’t Attracted To Me Anymore

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He Isn't Attracted To Me Anymore

Attraction isn’t guaranteed to be there forever.

One day, he is attracted to you, and the next day, he isn’t.

So much of it has to do with how impactful the attraction was.

At that moment of attraction, there was something that caught his attention.

It was a distinct physical feature that you had or a specific mannerism.



Time separated from this moment, opens the door to a loss of attraction.

Once attraction wanes, he doesn’t feel as strongly as he did about you originally.

The time separated from that first encounter caused the attraction to falter.

It doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you.

He was attracted to something about you, whether it was your eyes, jawline, physique, etc., or a facet of your persona.



That was what grabbed his attention at first.

You still possess these elements today.

But, he isn’t as drawn to them as he once was.

His attraction to you wasn’t decisive enough to inspire him into wanting to familiarize himself with you.

The attraction was enough to capture his attention in that moment and no further.



Attraction, doesn’t guarantee chemistry.

Even in the event where his attraction to you led to a few dates with you, a dearth of chemistry kills the attraction.

Sometimes, attraction grabs a guy’s attention, enough for him to go out on a date or two with you, but a deficiency of chemistry leads to the inevitable, the waning and consequent death of said attraction.

That’s why chemistry matters.

Coasting on attraction alone doesn’t get you far with a potential partner.



Chemistry is a tricky subject.

It mustn’t be forced, but there is behavior that aids in fostering it.

Did you flirt through verbal or body language?

Did you show interest in topics he was passionate about?

Have you met him in locations he is relaxed in?



Did you laugh at his jokes?

Were you relating to his stories, sharing fun similar stories of your own?

Did you share an equal responsibility in keeping conversations going?

Chemistry isn’t guaranteed, regardless of initial attraction.

Fostering chemistry requires effort.



Effort elicits chemistry, and other times, it doesn’t.

When it doesn’t, it isn’t anyone’s fault.

It’s a compatibility issue.

For some, it takes a few dates to decipher whether there is chemistry.

For others, they know from the first date.



Attraction, in and of itself, isn’t enough to keep a guy interested in you.

Your physical appeal hasn’t changed.

Whether he chose to go on a date or two with you, or never got that far with you, the attraction waned for his own reasons.

Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Judging yourself too harshly over this is to your disadvantage.



To do so creates a negative mindset.

This negative mindset follows you wherever go, affecting your aura.

As you go about your day, a random guy who sees that you are attractive, is discouraged to approach you, on account of the negative vibe he is perceiving from your end.

This is where you are hurting yourself.

There is a guy out there who thinks you are attractive and who is going to experience sustained chemistry with you.



This is where attraction segues into compatibility.

Keep your head up and have a positive attitude, and a meeting with your right match is assured.

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2 thoughts on “He Isn’t Attracted To Me Anymore”

  1. Hi,
    I am really confused tbh..I don’t know if this guy is attracted to me or not. So in last year in grade 11 we had chemistry class together. He was two seats away from me and our teacher made this joke so we all looked back and I guess I was staring at him cause I do have the tendency to day dream then he caught me staring so it was a very intense stare. His eyebrows were lifted up and his body was kind of positioned towards me. I got really nervous so I licked my lips which I guess came off in flirty way but it wasn’t supposed to so I got embrasssed and looked away. So the semester goes by i sometimes sense him staring at me and I would do the same. One day the guy I was sitting beside asked if he was staring at me and he said no and went back to do his work and I overheard this. The other day I was working on the exam booklet and he came up to up to my desk tapped it and we just stared at each other but he had this smirk on his face then tapped another girls desk and walked away. After the last few weeks of exam I guess we never paid that much attention towards each other. So now we are in grade 12 and we have no classes together but we did have a few encounters. One day I was sitting on the bus with my friends and he was sitting on the other side and halfway through the bus ride he stood next to my seat. I don’t know if he did it because his stop was colse but majority of the time he was on his phone and it got really awkward because my friends don’t like him. Another time I was in business class and a big group of his friends were in the hallway calling one of his friends to come outside but I felt him staring at me. It’s really confusing in a way I feel like he thought I was flirting with him but I wasn’t but I think I like him now. We never really talked or anything. I noticed him and his friends are reallY colse with this other girl group but I haven’t seen him talk to them it’s mostly his friends. His friends don’t talk to me ethier cause I havent had a class with any of them.Can you explain to me your analysis of the situation? What’s going on in his head? What’s going on between the both of us?

  2. Hi Laura,

    There has been quite a few moments of intense staring between the both of you.

    This normally indicates attraction.

    He is most likely using these moments to try to figure you out.

    He has caught you staring at him but he has also experienced you being somewhat nonchalant a la the time he walked up to your seat on the bus and stood next to you but you didn’t respond in any way.

    There is a tenseness between the both of you.

    He is most likely hoping that someone breaks that tension by either starting a conversation or at least saying a greeting.

    At this moment, he is not willing to be the person to break the tension.

    Either way, the attraction here is very evident on both your parts.

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