If your boyfriend left you for someone else because of your past, you will have to accept that and move on.
The longer you dwell on this, the harder it will be for you to get past it.
Whatever happened in your past is in your past.
Perhaps you made some mistakes that you now regret.
Perhaps you did some things that were selfish or inconsiderate in a past relationship.
This is in your past.
Everyone makes mistakes. No one has a faultless history.
The most important thing that you need to learn is that you can always forgive yourself and do better in your future.
When we learn from our past in a positive way, we are able to make a brighter future.
If you were in abusive relationships in the past that may have affected you psychologically, you should also learn from these experiences.
You aren’t a bad person because you were in abusive relationships in the past.
You may have not understood why you kept finding yourself dating the wrong kind of person.
You may have been too caught up in the moment.
You may have been a hopeless romantic.
Whatever the reason, it is important that you allow yourself to learn from those negative experiences and move forward.
If your boyfriend simply couldn’t accept something about your past, that is his prerogative.
You shouldn’t start desperately trying to change his mind.
This is a trap that many people fall into.
They want to hold on to their partner so much that they begin to do everything in their power to convince them to stay.
This tends to lead to further resentment and a boyfriend that is even more resolute in wanting to leave.
The truth is, people have varying degrees of tolerance.
Whatever happened in your past that compelled your boyfriend to leave was beyond what he could tolerate.
Again, that is his prerogative.
This doesn’t mean that another guy in your future won’t have more tolerance.
Another guy in your future may be a lot more tolerant and open minded to your past experience.
He may even look at it as something that helped make you become the better person you are today.
In other words, this other guy in your future may actually look at your past as a positive and not a negative or something that he should be ashamed of.
Again, different people have varying degrees of what they would be willing to tolerate or how they are willing to view a particular issue.
There isn’t one size that fits all in this situation.
Understanding this will help you refrain from reacting due to fear and anxiety.
It will help to keep you from desperately chasing after a boyfriend who has shown through his actions that he has a problem with your past.
You may love your boyfriend and desperately want to keep him but you can’t allow yourself to become hopelessly clingy.
You can only do so much.
Your boyfriend feels how he feels for his own reasons.
Trying to force him to look at your past in a better light would only lead to you continually holding on to a relationship that is no longer viable.
Stay true to yourself.
Don’t fear the now nor the future.
As long as you move forward in a positive way with your life, you will meet a future boyfriend who is perfectly willing to accept your past and accept you.
Subscribe to our newsletter for the very best in dating and relationship advice delivered daily right in your inbox. To confirm your subscription, be sure to check your spam or junk mail and mark our email address as nonspam.