We all have pasts, and many a time, our pasts affect our romantic relationships in a profound manner.
Your boyfriend has left you for someone else because of your past, and this is nothing unusual in relationships.
Without a time machine, our pasts are irrevocable.
This is why you mustn’t rewrite history out of desperation to get your boyfriend back.
Rewriting history is where you lie and embellish, in the hopes of convincing him that whatever upset him about your past or however it affected you, isn’t as bad as he thinks it is.
Trapping yourself in a labyrinth of lies never gets you anywhere.
Accept the reality that your boyfriend has left you.
No one is perfect in life.
Your boyfriend has skeletons in his closet too.
What matters is that you take this time to forgive yourself and set an intention to have a better future.
When we learn from our past, we make a brighter future.
Many people have a hard time moving on from their past, permitting the psychological effects of past trauma or past bad behavior to negatively influence how they behave in future relationships.
Don’t fall into this trap.
A past that you don’t let go of and exorcise from your psyche, is a past that jeopardizes your future relationships.
From anger to needy behavior, your future relationships suffer the aftereffects of that past.
This is how the shadow of a past relationship stays with us, from relationship to relationship.
Your attention has to be on you right not, not the boyfriend who just left you because of your past.
Are you carrying the bitter or negative aftereffects of your past with you from relationship to relationship?
Is it your shadow?
Work on exorcising those negative aftereffects from your life and personality.
Think about the effect your past has had on you.
Are you quicker to anger, clingier, scared, untrusting, jealous, uncompromising, too compromising, verbally combative, physically combative, etc.
Whatever it is, you need to work on resolving it before getting into any future relationship.
Without doing this, the same negative outcomes persist no matter who you date.
Forget about getting your boyfriend back.
Even though you succeed in getting him back, it doesn’t change what is about to happen yet again.
For a while, it seems that everything is going to be fine.
This doesn’t mean the shadow of your past has disappeared.
It is still there, hidden, waiting.
In due course, it reemerges and your boyfriend is upset with you yet again.
Before you know it, he leaves you and you are back at square one.
Why endure this cycle of hopelessness?
Let him be.
Right now, work on overcoming the negative aftereffects of your past.
Talk to a therapist.
Get closure wherever it is needed.
Practice mindfulness meditation to alleviate anger, fear, anxiety, neediness, etc.
Connect with people who have had these negative issues, befriend them and get advice from them on how they overcame their emotional demons.
Only when you have overcome these demons are you capable of having healthy, long-lasting romantic relationships in your future.
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