He may get back in contact with you in a few days or weeks.
However, if there has been a wide distance of time since you last heard from him, it would still not be the best news if you were to hear back from him.
When a guy is truly interested in a girl, he will typically communicate with regularity and make it a point to do so.
This is how he is able to start the process of courting the girl and trying to reassure her that he is being sincere.
He does this because he really wants to know more about you.
He wants to be a regular part of your world and ensure that you understand that he is into you.
When there are large gaps in communication, his interest in you is not strong at all.
Yes, he may still communicate every few days or weeks but you are not a priority to him.
He has been spending most of that time that he hasn’t been communicating with you doing other things that are more important to him.
He may have been talking to other girls that he is more interested in.
He may have been engaged in his hobbies.
He may have been making new friends and expanding his social circle.
He may have been on multiple trips away from town with family and friends.
In other words, he has been living his life without you in it.
When he contacts you after several days or weeks of you not hearing from him, he had a moment to spare.
He thought of you and decided to touch base with you.
He may have had a girl not follow through on a date and now he is thinking of a replacement.
He may have had a friend back out of a trip to the beach and now he is bored with nothing to do.
You are basically an afterthought to him.
This is why you should be very careful about wanting him to contact you so badly.
You may believe that by contacting you, he would be showing that he still likes you and is interested.
This is that part of you that wants him to like you so badly because you obviously like him so much.
However, you have to understand that your emotions are your own and have no bearing on his own emotions.
In other words, feeling this way doesn’t mean that he feels the same and since you can’t read minds, your best indicator of whether he is truly interested in you is in his actions.
As I mentioned earlier, when there is a decent or wide gap in communication, you are most likely an afterthought or a fourth option.
You really have to keep your thoughts under control if he does contact you so that you don’t get overly excited.
If he does contact you, you will have to understand that unless he makes a real and consistent effort to get to know you as a person and date you from here on out, he is not truly interested in you.
This is why you should always be cognizant of what you are experiencing and how your emotions are reacting to those experiences.
Hi Luke,
Thanks for your post, it’s really helpful.
I started online dating and one person I met there was adamant about meeting me. He texted at least once a day normally to touch base to set up the first date.
We met recently and the date lasted almost 2 hrs. Throughout, he was suggesting we do more things ha and at the end he said we should meet up over the weekend. I admit during the date I didn’t show that much energy at times.
Anyway he didn’t text me for a few days until Christmas and I responded shortly. But he mentioned to me several times his birthday was after so I messaged him. I was surprised because he thanked me kindly and asked to meet again. He kept in touch for a couple days and eventually told me to let him know when I’m better to meet up.
Do you think this is genuine interest or is it lack committed courtship ? Because he hadn’t been in touch with me since we last talked.
Hi Sandy,
It may be a lack of committed courtship.
His interest level was high just before he got to meet you. This is shown by how he was contacting you at least once a day every day until you both met.
Since he met you however, his communication has become more and more erratic and inconsistent. He doesn’t seem to be willing to put in the effort to move things along.
There may be something that he is looking for that he feels is missing in his interactions with you. Hence, instead of being proactive in trying to meet up with you, he leaves it to you to let him know when you’d like to meet up.
That isn’t a sign of a guy who is hungry to get to know you or court you.
Hello, I need some advice please! Hope you can answer this for me. To start from the beginning, I met Jack on Valentine’s Day event with his sister who I am friends with. It was unplanned because she was trying to get the gang together and so far it was just me from the friend group, her and her brother. On that night, we talked a lot to where his sister teased him about following me like a puppy and he kept teasing me with short jokes the entire night. Then after the event was over, he took me back to my place. After that, we didn’t talk again until I found him on social media a month later. Then we started talking every day. We would talk about everything under the sun like our family pasts, relationships we have been in, how I am moving to Florida after graduation and how he supports everything that I want to do and could do long distance, etc. After that, he told his friends and family we were talking to each other and his friends were happy, but his family and sister were wary of us. Then one day after that week, he asked me what were we question and I freaked out and told him it wasn’t a good time. He respected that and we didn’t talk again until I graduated a month later. After graduation, we again started up again. He then found out my plans for Florida weren’t going to work and that I was in California with my grandma because my dad sent me over to get away from my mother. He told me he was happy I was out of my situation. Like I said we started again in May and we kind of made it official for a week. Let me explain: when I came to California, we talked for a week until he called us off. During that week, we again talked about everything. How I was now restarting life and that he wants to visit me, us dating, our pasts, health issues, the dreams we both were in (there was one I should have seen as a red flag because he had a dream where he was standing on a cliff and there was a tall woman in a wedding dress and red hair and overtime he stepped closer, she moved away. I’m a short girl with brown hair…), the time I was assaulted by one of my guy friends, exes, jobs, when he almost got married, what happens if we were to meet each others family (I only knew his sister but never met the family), how my ex-was literally sending me pics when we were talking and making fun of him together and what we want in the future. He was the exact person as me: same personality, same humor, same life experiences, same family life and crap that has happened, etc. Okay, the future talk might be one of the reasons he called us off. He wants a housewife who homeschools the 14 kids, while he goes to work or vice verse even though he kinda wants the wife to stay. He has very strict Christian rules: no premarital sex, can’t live with each other before marriage and has to be a certain type of church. For me, I can’t have kids due to my health issues (which he said we could adopt), how I want to live with someone for a year or so before marriage. But after those types of talks is when I started to fully fall for him and I told him I had feelings for him in subtle ways. I fell for his heart. Then after a week, he calls me up saying to not hang up but he wants us to be friends and how we fell for each other too fast, he has this rule where he is friends with a girl for a year to get to know them then sees if he wants to date them, he might be moving to Texas because his grandma is sick, and he didn’t want to tell me he also had feelings because he had several things he needs to work on for himself. He then also told me he is very strong-willed and basically told me I am too weak for him. He said I also was distracting him at work and his co-workers think it’s funny that he’s talking to a 12-year-old. He also told me he still cares for me and wants me to be in his life so we should give this thought for a week and talk about it. After that call, I cried for 2 days straight. So after that, I didn’t talk to him for a week. After a week I messaged him asking if we could talk and he said he thought about it when he was on a business trip and talked to his family and still stands on us being friends. I lied saying that is what I wanted to talk about even though I wanted to tell him I didn’t want to be friends because I still have feelings for him. I have tried being friends with an ex before and it didn’t work. He knew that. After that, he stopped answering any of my messages and I deleted him off of social media. I mean he would answer some messages like when I would get a job interview or something to do with work. Then 2 weeks later I try to add him back on Facebook, blocks me but I guess he added me on snap chat. With snapchat, he doesn’t answer any of my messages but looks at my stories that I post (it notifies you when someone looks at your story or at least on my phone it does). During Independence Day, he started actually answering my messages and we were having more of conversations. He informed me he might be moving to Portland for his job and other things that had happened. Still not the 24/7 messaging we used to do. Well when he asked me about my 4th, I accidentally told him I got drunk and called a cute guy I met earlier that day (I kinda was drunk when he messaged me hence the accidental) and he kind of became very short with his answer but also said that he hopes it works out for us. I replied saying you know my history, it won’t work out. And now we kinda have been snap chatting and gave me advice on what to do with my should I work for Disney or go to Australia with my sister. He told it would be better to move with my sister and go to another country or at least what he would do. But then he kinda stopped and I’m like that’s short lived but now he will answer some of my messages. I’m at the point of I don’t know what to do? I still like the boy and there’s a part of me that wants to tell him I miss talking to him and that I like him, but then there’s a part of me saying it’ll ruin our “friendship” and that he doesn’t like me and that the friendship rule thing is a cope out. I’m at the point, like I said I don’t know what to do?
A guy kept staring at me ever since he saw me the first time. I learnt that he has a girl friend. Then why does he stared me into eyes and roam around me and show affection to me as if he is attracted to and show care for me.
When we were at the same branch he used to tickle me, call my name out loud , asks caring questions to me. It took much time for me to come out of it, when I said I like him. He was neutral to it. Then gave me hints like he is not feeling the same to me. But he is acting like this. Why does he keep confusing me ? I’m in a terrible confusion and pain