An ex that used to be your best friend had qualities about him that appealed to you as a person.

Although he hurt you badly when he was your partner, this doesn’t erase your history with him as your best friend.

In assessing whether you should stay friends with this ex, examine what your relationship was like with this ex as a whole.

Think back to how your relationship was when this ex was strictly your best friend and not your romantic partner.

How was that relationship?

Was it fulfilling to you?

Did you trust him?

Did you enjoy the times you shared?

Could you confide in this best friend with anything?

If your answer is in the affirmative, sit with that for a moment.

Now, think about how you got into a romantic relationship with each other in the first place.

Was it mutual?

Was there a mutual desire to get into a romantic relationship?

Was there someone who was pushing for a romantic relationship more than the other?

By thinking back on this objectively, it’s conceivable that you were the one who was more excited about getting into a romantic relationship with your ex.

With this as the case, your ex never innately wanted to transition the relationship from that of being best friends to that of being romantic partners.

He was reluctant to do this.

It was only a matter of time before he would hurt you.

This doesn’t mean that he entered the romantic relationship with the intent of hurting you.

As time passed, it was inevitable that he would become resentful of being in a romantic relationship with you, leading to behavior that resulted in you getting hurt.

This is what happens when two best friends get into a romantic relationship and one of them is not too excited about doing so.

The friend who wasn’t excited about getting into a romantic relationship chooses to get into one, fearing that in not doing so, they lose their best friend entirely.

If you reflect on your relationship with this ex who used to be your best friend, and realize that he was never all that excited to start a romantic relationship with you, this is where the early seeds of trepidation that led to the failure of the romantic relationship were planted.

As long as you believe that in the time that has transpired since the breakup, you have healed from your hurt emotions, it’s a good idea to stay friends with him.

Good friends don’t grow on trees.

This ex was your best friend before he became your boyfriend.

To this end, as long as there is a mutual desire to become platonic friends again, go along with it.

A platonic friendship was likely where it should have remained from the get-go.

That being said, if you hadn’t dated each other, you would never have known whether you were romantically compatible, and now you do.