Your memories are conjured up by you.
In other words, you have a degree of control over how often your memories come into your consciousness.
Oftentimes, when you have been unable or unwilling to let go of someone, your memories will continue to bring that person up.
You will become so attached to the images that you see in these memories because they will make you think of better days.
The more attached you become to those memories, the more dependent you are on them.
Due to becoming more dependent on them, you want more of those memories even though you may be telling yourself that they hurt you.
You just can’t help it.
You want more of those images.
Hence, you conjure up even more memories on your own because you need to feel a sense of closeness to that person.
It is almost as though by you simply bringing back that memory in your mind, that person is still a part of your life.
In other words, by continuously bringing up these memories, you temporarily make yourself feel better because it feels like you are still with this person.
Whatever memory that you are having about this person and whatever activity was being performed in that memory then feels like it all happened so recently.
Again, by conjuring up these memories, you cheat your mind into believing that this person is still a part of your life.
However, the hurt sets in when after a few moments you come back to reality and realize that it was all a memory and that indeed this person is truly gone.
Hence, your best option to get over these memories that hurt you is to accept the fact and reality that this relationship is now in your past.
You have to make a conscious decision to avoid allowing these memories to become a major part of your daily consciousness.
One of the best ways to do this is to simply be more present to them.
The moment they begin to show up in your head, send your thoughts to something completely different or simply bring yourself back to the present moment.
Another good way to get over these memories would also be to keep yourself busy doing activities that you love and will challenge you.
The more preoccupied you are with your time doing these activities, the less likely these memories will come up as much.
Also, you can get over these memories by making a real effort to begin to create new memories.
These new memories can be created by allowing yourself to have new adventures in life and make new friends.
The more you engage in these endeavors, the more memories you will begin to create.
These memories will eventually begin to replace the old memories that hurt you so much.
Also, do remember that these memories are simply images.
They aren’t solid. Hence, just as images can appear and disappear, these memories can do the same.
In other words, don’t allow these memories to become concrete entities in your mind.
Understand their impermanence and lack of substance.
When you do, those memories that hurt you will have a lot less power in your mind and thereby will cause less emotional damage.