It’s tough for you to grasp having to delete pictures and messages you shared with an ex, purely owing to having broken up with said ex.

The thought that you are supposed to delete various aspects of a life you had with an ex you cared about sounds a bit extreme to you.

It’s not that you want to get back with your ex.

You don’t.

It is depressing to think that in order to be taken seriously by a new love, you have to delete everything you had with an ex after breaking up with said ex.

You don’t espouse this mindset.

In your mind, you worry that customarily deleting everything after breaking up with an ex makes it seem like that part of your life never happened.

This is not about a reluctance to let go of an ex. For you, it’s about a reluctance to erase a part of your life that was poignant.

Isn’t it possible to no longer be in love with an ex, but cherish the time you spent with them?

This has you thinking about people who are in relationships for ten years or greater that end up breaking with their partner.

Are they supposed to delete everything about that ex after breaking up with them?

Delete every picture and every message?

It feels completely wrong.

At the same time, you don’t want a reluctance to delete everything after breaking up with an ex to hamper your chances of meeting a new partner and getting into a long-term relationship with said person.

Although your sentiment is warranted, human beings are much more complicated in how we approach our romantic relationships.

The reason why keeping pictures and messages from this ex causes ire and disdain from prospective partners, has much to do with a perception that you haven’t gotten over this ex.

Even though you believe that you are totally over the ex, a prospective partner doesn’t look at it that way.

The truth is, keeping pictures and messages from an ex around keeps reminding you of said ex.

Though you believe you are over this ex, and merely keeping these pictures and messages around because these are precious memories, it wreaks of suspicion.

It comes off as though you aren’t over the ex, although you genuinely believe you are.

Human beings are selfish.

We don’t want to share whoever we are dating whether that be in mind or body.

Knowing that you are keeping old pictures and messages around makes a prospective partner believe that you are carrying on with being emotionally connected to this ex.

Every time you look at these pictures and messages, you are reminded of your ex and made to feel as though the breakup never happened.

This isn’t your motivation, but it is how a prospective partner interprets it.

I see your sentiment.

These were precious years of your life shared with someone you cared about that you will never get back.

Now that your relationship with that ex has ended, deleting everything that connects you to that ex feels like you would be erasing a significant part of your life.

Unfortunately, almost every prospective partner who sees you persisting in keeping pictures and messages from an ex in your life, is bound to be threatened by this.

Firstly, let’s get the elephant out of the room.

Are you sincerely over this ex or exes?

Should you sincerely believe you are, you have to use a different approach with how you address this issue.

To start with, remove these pictures and messages from visibility.

Make them only accessible to you and no one else.

Next, inform any prospective partner who is courting you about the fact that you keep pictures and messages from exes.

Obviously, it’s your task to explain your reasoning behind keeping these pictures and messages.

At this point, the onus is on him to keep courting you or not.

Out of sight is out of mind.

As long as you have been upfront with him about this mindset, and removed these pictures and messages from accessibility to anyone, there are guys who would be willing to take a risk in dating you.

Nonetheless, be warned.

Although you absolutely believe you are over these exes, a prospective partner could use the fact that you keep these pictures and messages against you, whenever there is an unrelated issue in the relationship that you are fighting with each other about.

It becomes a crutch to use against you over and over again, even though these pictures and messages are only accessible to you.

So, this mindset could come back to hunt you.

Thread with caution.