What Do You Do When Someone You Used To Date Says They Care About You?

What Do You Do When Someone You Used To Date Says They Care About You?

Be careful that you don’t read too much into it.

This is someone you used to date.

This means that you could have feelings for him that persist.

When feelings for him persist, you are susceptible to reading too much into being told that he cares about you.

Hearing these words triggers a whole bunch of good memories about this guy.

You remember how much fun you two had when you went out to dinners or the movies.

You recall how much fun it was to spend weekends with him talking about everything under the sun and binge-watching tv shows on streaming channels.

Your mind immediately goes to all the good experiences you had together and none of the bad.

There is a reason why this is someone you used to date.

When you let your mind get lost in the good times that you had with him, you forget that there were several issues that led to the breakup.

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What led to the breakup?

Was it an anger issue on his end?

A violence issue?

A lack of emotional intelligence?

Although the start of your relationship was filled with promise and joy, that isn’t how your relationship ended.

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Many relationships commence with promise and joy.

This is the honeymoon phase.

Once that honeymoon phase is over, the real relationship begins.

That was when you two ran into problems.

Don’t forget this.

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In telling you that he cares about you, there could be some truth to that.

You were someone he used to date.

Like you, he remembers how good it was for a period of time in your relationship.

He is doing exactly what you are doing.

Dwelling on the good times.

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He is remembering going sailing with you over the summer and how enjoyable that was.

He recollects introducing you to his friends for the first time and how much they loved you.

Like you, he is deluged with images of what it was like when you two were in a relationship and were getting along.

He is making the same mistake you are making right now.

He isn’t seeing what led to the relationship’s collapse.

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Rather, he is fixated on the good times.

This makes him feel good.

As human beings, we get attached to what makes us feel good.

We are constantly looking for this.

That is why we surround ourselves with family and friends, go on vacations, post on social media, etc.

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Unfortunately, this constant desire to feel good blinds us to our idiosyncrasies and where we need to improve ourselves as human beings.

It isn’t fun to do this.

It isn’t enjoyable.

It’s us having to do hard work on correcting parts of our lives or personalities that aren’t savory.

There are strong odds that neither one of you have done this hard work since the breakup.

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Neither one of you has done the hard work in improving your characters or lives.

Should you two get back together, the same mistakes are destined to happen again, resulting in an inevitable breakup.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

The reality is, you two are currently lonely, hungry for affection.

He told you he cares about you to assuage his loneliness.

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In turn, you are hoping there is more to what he said to assuage your own loneliness.

None of this means you two are made for each other.

You have already been on that road and it didn’t work out.

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