When Starting To Date Someone, Do You Factor In Whether Or Not You Think Your Friends Will Like This Person?

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When Starting To Date Someone, Do You Factor In Whether Or Not You Think Your Friends Will Like This Person?

Normally, it starts with what you like in a person.

Your friends aren’t the ones looking at his face.

You are.

They aren’t the ones being swooned by his words.

You are.



As human beings, we have selfish proclivities, especially when it comes to relationships.

This is often what guides the way we behave or respond to someone in the beginning.

Think about how you made your friends.

Paul’s jokes made you giggle incessantly.

A kindred spirit was found in Jennifer who loves playing tennis just like you do and watching talent TV shows.



Angela was your inspiration.

Fiery, unapologetic, fiercely loyal.

She was who you wanted to be one day.

Benjamin was cute but you soon realized you were more into his genius mind than his charm.

It felt right to look to him as your academic or intellectual beacon.



Much would be learned from him over the years.

You see, each and every one of your friends provided you with some benefit from the very beginning.

It wasn’t until you got to know them better that the circle became widened by individuals you weren’t necessarily looking to add to your life in some potently beneficial way.

You happen to know Jennifer’s friend, Amber, because you first knew Jennifer.

Though Amber didn’t make you feel any sort of way in terms of inspiration or deep rapport, she was likable enough and became your friend too.



And so, your friend circle broadened in this vain.

When you start dating someone in the beginning, you don’t really factor in whether or not you think your friends will like this person all that much.

Naturally, this person would have similarities to what drew you to your friends in the first place.

A shared background.

Language.



Education.

Economic status.

All of these are normally a given.

They have nothing to do with whether your friends would approve of those qualities.

These are qualities that contributed in drawing you to your friends in the first place.



A guy you are dating would normally have those similarities in qualities as well.

Again, we are selfish people.

Our initial primary concern is on how good this person makes me feel, when we first start dating someone, not whether our friends approve of said person.

Now, this does change the more you get to know the person.

More and more, you are learning about this person’s characteristics and proclivities.



As you become more and more comfortable with him, you naturally start thinking about how he would get along with your good friend Paul.

He just cracked a joke and you realize that he shares the same sense of humor that Paul has.

On another occasion, he talks about a talent TV show he loves to watch and all of a sudden, you are visualizing your good friend Jennifer, yourself and this guy you are newly dating, all sitting in a living room, watching some talent show like you normally do with Jennifer.

What a fun experience that would be.

You see how it works?



You didn’t start dating him factoring in whether or not your friends would like him all that much.

He already had qualities that attracted you to your friends in the first place, making that factor mute.

It is as you get to know him more and more, becoming more and more comfortable with him that your friends begin to factor in.

Not so much in reference to whether they would like him, more so in reference to unique similarities you are noticing in him that are shared by some of your friends.

This is the first time that the question about whether or not your friends would like him truly hits you.



It was never at the forefront initially because the general similarities were already there and, you know, we are selfish, and you were more concerned with how he made you feel.

But now that you have learned so much more about him, you realize that he would blend effortlessly amongst your friends and they would not just like him, but love him.

Really, the only time the thought of whether your friends would like a guy you are starting to date becomes really prevalent is when the guy is so much your opposite that it frightens you to an extent.

So, you may need the counsel of a friend or two before deciding whether you should give this crazy guy a shot or not.

Most human beings normally connect with what they are familiar with.



They do that in who they choose to become friends with and who they choose to date.

That’s why factoring in whether your friends would like a guy you are starting to date is never really a dominant issue.

If anything, the more you get to know him, the more similarities you discover he shares with your friends.

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