He knows it makes you anxious.
Taking a long time to get over a fight is his way of punishing you for the fight.
He is blaming you for what caused the fight and the fight itself.
This isn’t healthy.
He is taking no responsibility for any fights that occur.
By taking a long time to get over a fight, he is hoping to discourage you from getting him into fights with you in the future.
This is never healthy.
The fights are occurring for a reason.
Even if he were to get you to back off whenever a fight is brewing, this doesn’t change the reality that there is an underlying issue that is leading to these fights.
You two have to get to the core issue of what is leading to these fights.
You can’t sit back and hope that you two don’t have disagreements in the future so as to avoid a fight.
The underlying issue persists regardless.
That is the overarching reason why you have fights.
You two must figure out what the underlying cause of the fights are and resolve them as a team.
Without doing this, the fights are inevitable, no matter how much you try to hold them back, knowing that your boyfriend will consequently take a long time to get over them.
When you are holding back, in fear of getting into a fight, you are letting the underlying issue build up in strength, until it explodes in yet another fight.
Don’t let this happen.
Talk to your boyfriend about the need to figure out what the underlying cause of these fights are.
It isn’t that hard to figure out.
Somewhere along the line, the fights started occurring with greater frequency.
Trace your fights back to around the time they began getting out of hand.
What was happening in your relationship around that time?
You two weren’t fighting anywhere near this much in the early months of your relationship.
What were you two doing for each other then that you aren’t doing now?
That is where the underlying cause of your fights reside.
Something is missing that was once there.
This isn’t unusual.
People get complacent in a relationship after a while.
One or both of them stop doing something they were doing in the beginning.
They get lazy.
The fights don’t happen right away.
It takes a while for the element that is missing to become a factor that causes discontentment.
Now, all of a sudden, the two are fighting in a way they never did in the early months of their relationship, when their needs were being met.
This is why you two are fighting.
Someone got complacent and stopped addressing the other’s needs in a particular area.
This has to be fixed.
You two have to get back to where you were in the early months of your relationship, where the needs of both parties were being addressed and met.
Figure out what need within your relationship you are missing out on and ask your boyfriend to fulfill it like he once did.
Ask him to do the same with you.
Wherever you have become complacent and stopped meeting a need of his, you must be willing to fulfill it like you once did.
Upon fixing this underlying issue, you never have to worry about him taking a long time to get over fights.
He won’t have to.
The fights will dramatically reduce or be extinguished altogether.
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