You worry that this is a red flag.

A guy who has been single for 10 years must have something wrong with him.

Right?

It makes sense that you would worry about this.

You don’t normally come across men who have been single for that long.

It feels wrong to you.

There is merit to your fears.

Being that people are wired to be with a partner, a 10 year gap seems unnatural.

This being said, there are extenuating circumstances.

What was he doing for those 10 years?

There are valid reasons for an absence.

Was he working on his own business or climbing the corporate ladder, not having the time to date or get into a serious relationship with someone?

This happens, especially with men.

Men normally have the pressure to establish themselves in society, financially and career-wise.

These last 10 years could have had him knee-deep on his mission to establish himself financially and in his career.

Now that he has accomplished that, he is ready to start dating again.

This is an extenuating circumstance that makes sense, especially with ambitious men.

Then, there is an extenuating circumstance where he has been grappling with the emotional repercussions of a previous relationship.

Too many people have a habit of bouncing from one relationship to another too quickly, rarely giving themselves enough time to heal or learn from their past relationships.

This guy, did the opposite.

He gave it time.

10 years to be exact.

Okay, that’s a lot of time.

But people heal at their own individual pace.

How much has he learned about himself and relationships in that time?

A lot.

Now that he is back out in the dating scene, he is someone changed and hopefully for the better.

You see, a 10 year gap between relationships isn’t always a red flag.

Sometimes, you are gaining someone who has taken the time to make positive changes in his life having learned from his past mistakes.

This is why you mustn’t be too quick to judge a guy who has been single for 10 years.

Hear him out.

Observe his behavior.

Talk to his friends and family.

All of this gives you a better idea about why he has been single for that long and whether his reasoning was valid.

Where being single for 10 years draws a red flag is when the guy hasn’t been doing much with his life during that time frame.

He hasn’t been working hard to climb the corporate ladder or build his business.

He hasn’t been working on himself as a person from within, intent on bettering himself so as not to make the same mistakes.

No, for the last 10 years he has been just sleepwalking through life and in that time, he has barely received any promotions at work and has bounced from job to job.

On top of that, he has let his body go, no longer exercising or eating right, which has tie-ins with depression.

Not to mention, he has ignored family and friends, allowing those relationships to collapse or suffer.

This is when you pull out the red flag on a guy who has been single for 10 years.

When you observe that the life he has led during that time has been filled with mediocrity and anti-social behavior.