You are afraid of commitment and worried that in pursuing these men any further after sleeping with them, you are liable to getting hurt.
Unbeknownst to you, a self-defense buffer has been built in your mind.
This is triggered after you have slept with a guy.
You consequently lose interest in him, not wanting your mind to consider what could be.
This is even when you have had a great time with the guy leading up to sleeping with him and when you have even had a great time during the act itself.
You were hurt in the past by someone who took advantage of your heart.
This closed you off to the idea of going any further with a guy after you have slept with him.
Look back on your past relationships with guys.
A past where you were deeply hurt by a guy after you slept with him was the catalyst for your current behavior.
You never have an emotional connection with these guys.
There is a physical attraction, but it never goes deeper than that.
You do enjoy physical intimacy in general, which entices you to sleep with these men.
There is a part of you that hopes that once you have slept with these men, you feel something other than physical attraction.
You sleep with them, since the physical chemistry is there.
After the act, emotional chemistry remains absent.
Your physical need has been met through the act and now your desire is depleted because there is no more mystery.
You consequently lose interest.
There is a part of you that sleeps with these men in the hopes that it creates that emotional connection.
You strictly feel the physical connection to start with.
Notwithstanding, you hope that something magical happens after you have slept with a guy so that you feel a deeper connection to him.
Time and time again, this doesn’t happen.
The problem here is typically based on acting out too soon on what you see visually.
When you don’t give your interactions with men enough time for you to build up a degree of emotional camaraderie, you risk losing interest after sleeping with him.
You continue to lean on the hope that sleeping with him gives you that emotional spark, but there is nothing but it disappointment.
You are rushing things with these men and obsessing too intently on satisfying a physical need.
Satisfying this physical need is your initial priority.
Be aware that sleeping with a guy isn’t going to automatically create that deeper connection.
To get this connection, you are better off dating a guy for a while before you sleep with him.
This amount of time gives you the opening to develop deeper feelings that is likely to be there after you have slept with him, given that a much deeper foundation of trust is established.
Never having done this before, it isn’t unusual to to be fearful beforehand.
Your initial instinct is to push back, and by so doing, retract to what you have done in the past.
Be prepared for this when it arrives, by purposely reminding yourself that you are in need of something deeper in a relationship this time around.
This puts you back on track and keeps you there.
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