How Do I Know If I Truly Like Someone Or Just Looking Because I’m Lonely?

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How Do I Know If I Truly Like Someone Or Just Looking Because I'm Lonely?

A good place to start is in how you have approached your previous relationships.

Recall the relationships that you have had in the past and ask yourself whether you typically got into them because you truly liked the person or because you were lonely.

You will typically know whether you got into those relationships due to either one based on how the relationships went.

If you entered a previous relationship and later regretted it because you realized that you never really knew who you were dating, you probably got into that relationship because you were lonely.

You may not have given that romance time to develop before starting a relationship.

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You may have been so lonely that you were unwilling to let the process unfold naturally.

You simply went with the feeling of need.

Your desire to meet that need was overwhelming.

The need in question was that of satisfying your loneliness.

You wanted to put someone in there just so that you could say you had someone.

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As long as you had someone, despite the fact that you had barely allowed the process of getting to know them to develop, you were no longer lonely.

You don’t have to worry about lonely nights because someone will always be there physically or only a phone call away.

However, this relationship did not last because you later discovered that this person wasn’t who you hoped they were.

You discovered this person’s selfishness, lack of understanding and perhaps even infidelity.

Well, this is how you can use your past relationship experience to guide you.

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When you truly like someone, you will want to get to know them as a person.

You may even be afraid to want to get into a relationship with them too quickly.

You will want to practice patience.

When you truly like someone, you will typically want to learn more about this person’s shortcomings.

You will be cautious because it would be difficult for you to believe that this person is this perfect.

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You will start asking more intimate questions to them as time passes.

You may even want to learn more about their family background and friendships.

You would want to begin to get a sense of what makes this person who they are.

Getting this kind of information and having these experiences typically require time.

However, you are willing to be patient because that is how much you truly like this person.

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You are willing to set aside your immediate desires in order to really get to know this person.

You may not be willing to bring this person around your family or friends quite so soon.

You are savoring your time with this person instead of merely using them as your cover or as a remedy for your loneliness.

You don’t have to show them off quite yet because you want to know if this chemistry you are feeling with this guy is truly for real and not simply you wishing that it is.

You are that much more cautious and yet optimistic at the same time of what could be.

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When you are willing to savor an interaction and give it this kind of time and caution, there is a very good chance that you truly like this person as opposed to want them only based on loneliness.

010By Luke Iwuji, a dating coach and founder of DatingLogic.net. For the best professional dating or relationship advice, Book a Session with me.