Personally experiencing bad past relationships or witnessing someone close go through them breeds fear and anxiety.
You are terrified, not wanting it to happen again or have it happen to you.
A bad relationship from your past that didn’t work out is behind you, and letting its bitter after effects grip you in fear is detrimental to your love life.
Since then, you have learned and you have grown.
There is nothing wrong in making mistakes in our relationships.
This is how we learn, inform ourselves and move forward in making better choices of our partners or of our own behavior.
Evaluate that past relationship.
Was your partner abusive and uncaring?
How about yourself?
Were you abusive or uncaring in the relationship?
As you answer these questions, make yourself conscious of the knowledge that you want to do it different this time.
You want to learn from your past so that your future in relationships is much better.
Recognize that it is the past choices we have made in partners and in our behavior that led to a failed relationship.
By grasping this and wanting to make changes, you stop being terrified of relationships and everything that comes with it.
Now, fear of relationships that isn’t coming from your past dating experiences but from what you have witnessed isn’t something you make your own.
A close friend or family member of yours who had a traumatic relationship doesn’t mean that you are doomed to experience the same.
On the contrary, their mistakes teach you precious lessons about relationships, as you steer clear of doing the same.
Having a healthy and fulfilling relationship without all of the fear that you think it comes with is within your grasp.
What are your characteristics?
Are you warm, considerate, kind, giving, etc.?
Look for these same qualities in a mate.
Give it time when you meet them.
Avoid jumping into any relationship until you have had the time to judge that person’s temperament and conclude whether it truly mirrors your own.
Taking your time in getting to know someone filters out the deceivers.
The first time you meet a deceiver, they present themselves in a totally different fashion from who they truly are, mirroring your kindness.
They do this in the hopes of impressing you and tricking you into a relationship.
Once in a relationship, you discover that they are far from kind.
Unfortunately, by this point, your emotions are so invested in the person that you are trapped and uncertain of how to get out or what to do.
This is how a lot of people end up in bad relationships.
When you are getting to know someone, give it time.
It’s arduous for someone to maintain a facade when you give it time.
At some point, being dishonest about who they truly are and keeping the act up is untenable, as it is quite a challenge to not be yourself from day to day.
This is when you know that this is a person to avoid.
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