A breakup or rejection doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to still have you in his life as a friend.
You serve a purpose in his life.
Your humor or adventurous spirit doesn’t vanish when a breakup or rejection happens.
That same girl exists and he isn’t ready to let her go.
To that end, that side of you that is fun, adventurous, witty, ambitious, affectionate, is what drew him to you in the first place.
At first, those qualities made it appear that romantic potential was there.
A captivating personality and shared interests foments a romantic connection.
Then he got to experience what it was like to have you as a preeminent presence in his life.
This is where he is sharing a lot more time with you than in the early days and weeks of courting you.
Such an extended time with you has changed his mind about you and the potential for romance.
Those qualities that drew him to you in the first place are usurped by the lesser qualities you have now exposed him to.
Although you are fun, he hates it when you talk over him constantly when you get overly excited.
You are funny, but he hates it when your jokes are insensitive or when you use jokes to avoid talking about a serious issue.
Adventurous you are, but he hates that you waver when it comes to doing activities he loves most, especially when those activities get your nails dirty.
These are a few examples, but you get the point.
These lesser qualities have killed the romantic potential.
As he got to know you, your good qualities were usurped by other facets to your personality that turned him off.
He didn’t come to the decision to break up with you or reject you on a whim.
But he knew he had to.
Now, this doesn’t mean being your friend isn’t a great option to him.
As your friend, he gets to experience the same good qualities without having to worry about your shortcomings.
When there is no expectation of romance, there is no pressure.
This means that he doesn’t have to spend that much time with you, which increases the likelihood that he gets to experience your good qualities as your friend, without having too much exposure to your shortcomings.
Not having to spend weekends with you or talk to you for hours each day decreases his exposure to your shortcomings.
As your friend, he isn’t obligated to spend weekends with you or take you out on dates.
Given that he isn’t seeing you as much, when he does see you, he is experiencing you at your best.
As your friend, the romantic expectations are gone.
Being in your company isn’t laden with burdensome questions about where the relationship is going as far as romance is concerned.
You are fun, as long as he doesn’t have to spend an entire weekend with you or have to talk to you for hours.
With these advantages, still wanting to be friends with you is advantageous to him.
He has everything to gain and nothing to lose.
Without the pressure of a potential romance hovering over him, he gets the best sides of you and has the best time while at it.
Remember, you don’t have to stay his friend.
You have feelings too.
On the condition you aren’t being fulfilled as his friend, it isn’t worth it to stay his friend.
Staying his friend when you aren’t being fulfilled is an opening to additional hurt.
In the back of your mind, you are hoping he changes his mind about you soon and transitions the friendship into a relationship.
Never get into a platonic friendship with this mindset.
It leaves you hanging, waiting, and hoping that something changes and romance happens.
Romance rarely happens in these conditions.
You have agency to refuse being his friend where emotional pain within you persists.
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