I’m Confused About Things With This Girl And Wonder If I Should Just Back Off For The Time Being?

I'm Confused About Things With This Girl And Wonder If I Should Just Back Off For The Time Being?

Figure out just what it is you feel confused about.

Is she not responding to your approach in a consistent and involved manner?

Is she not communicating?

Is she not coming to the dates that you arrange?

Answer these questions.

When there is a lack of communication, you have a problem.

When you are the one who initiates conversation every single time, she is showing a lack of interest.

Everything that is being done to move this process along mustn’t be completely on your shoulders.

She has to contribute to the process.

This is how the dating process works.

It takes two.

Not one.

When there has been a consistent lack of communication on her part, despite your efforts to get her to do more, it’s time to let her go.

Don’t keep pushing and expending your energy where there is no interest.

It takes away from your opportunities to talk to other girls who are interested in you.

Why waste your time and energy on someone who gives you nothing back?

And no, her behavior isn’t a sign she is interested but playing hard to get.

Playing hard to get doesn’t mean that someone never communicates.

Playing hard to get means that the person is giving you just enough to keep you interested.

Eventually, the person completely opens up and the hard-to-get game ends.

This is not what you are experiencing with this girl when she has shown a propensity to never never initiate contact with you.

She doesn’t make herself available enough either.

But when the two of you do go out on dates, it’s a great time.

Don’t be deceived by this.

There are some girls who are very good on dates.

They are a great date.

They laugh a lot and show you a great time.

It doesn’t guarantee they are interested in you.

This is especially the case when you consistently struggle to set up another date with them.

Over and over, you are at the receiving end of cancelled dates or no shows.

There is nothing to be confused about in a scenario like this.

When she is doing this, she is not truly interested in you.

Is this what you have been experiencing with this girl?

A girl who is truly interested in you regularly makes herself available for dates and she rarely cancels on you.

It’s time to move on.

Expending your time and energy on someone who is either playing ridiculous games with you that gets you nowhere or gets off making you guess about how they feel about you, is a complete waste of your time.

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3 thoughts on “I’m Confused About Things With This Girl And Wonder If I Should Just Back Off For The Time Being?”

  1. Hi Luke,

    I’m a junior in high school, and there’s this freshman girl on my indoor track team that I like (my ultimate goal is obviously having a relationship with her). I’ve talked to her a couple times, but I don’t really do it on a regular basis. It’s not really because I’m scared to talk to her, although I almost always get anxious when she’s around. It’s mostly because she’s not alone that often and I don’t get a lot of great opportunities to talk to her. She’s often talking to her friends. So this has always been the biggest issue.
    But although the conversations I’ve had with her have been pretty fun, I’m wondering how to really make progress when I do get to talk to her, and how to flirt and charm her. Any tips would be much appreciated. Thanks!

  2. Hi Aidan,

    It’s a good idea to loosen up.

    Girls like it when they are around a guy who is extemporaneous and seems to be really comfortable with himself.

    Hence, try not to sound too rehearsed. It makes it easier for you to flirt with her and for her to respond.

    A good way to make progress when you do get to talk to her is to ask her questions about herself.

    You could ask her about where she likes to hang out. When she gives you the answer, you can relate to it in some way or show some curiosity with some follow up questions about why she likes hanging out there.

    It’s all about creating a connection.

    You can flirt and charm her by giving her a compliment on something.

    Try to avoid complimenting her on something that is very obvious. Pick something on her or about her that most people wouldn’t notice.

    It could be a slightly hidden birthmark or the manner in which she talks or moves. Just find something that isn’t so obvious. It will make her feel special and set you apart from the rest.

    As far as you not having a lot of great opportunities to talk to her because she is often talking to her friends, read this article – https://datinglogic.net/2015/01/09/i-really-like-a-girl-but-she-is-always-surrounded-by-her-friends-how-can-i-go-about-getting-her-alone-and-asking-her-out/

  3. Thanks for the advice! The other article made sense, too. It sounds like I need to get my friends together and start chatting up her group. That will definitely be interesting!

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