It is possible to have a broken heart from someone you weren’t serious with.
This typically happens after a while of constant daydreaming and even regular dreams about this person.
You are always thinking about this person as you do your activities during the day.
When you go to bed at night you may even have dreams about this person from time to time.
You may check them out constantly on social media.
What photos have they posted?
What topics are they talking about?
Who are they talking to?
You start making all of this your daily routine.
After a while, it begins to feel like you are already dating this person because you feel like you know them.
You keep trying to find ways to relate to this person through what you hear or see about them.
At this point, your brain starts creating fantasies about this person.
You and this person are together doing something in these fantasies.
You keep having these fantasies the more this person occupies your thoughts from day to day.
Eventually, you get to the point where you actually start developing legitimate feelings for this person even if you may not even know them that well if at all.
This is because your brain simply doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what isn’t.
Due to the fact that this person is constantly in your thoughts from day to day, the ultimate sensory analysis that your brain has is that these thoughts must be from memory.
There are three major parts of the brain that consolidate and store memory.
The prefrontal cortex consolidates short term memory.
The hippocampus consolidates short term memories into long term memories.
The cerebral cortex stores the consolidated long term memory.
Remember that the brain can’t necessary tell what is real and what isn’t.
This is why our dreams tend to be so vivid.
Hence, when you constantly have images of this person in your head over a sustained period of time, the brain starts attaching meaning to those images and essentially starts consolidating them initially in your prefrontal cortex as short term memory.
If these images persist, they move on into your hippocampus as a long term memory and then are ultimately stored in your cerebral cortex.
As far as your brain is concerned, these images are real even though they are simply fantasies that you have created in your mind from day to day.
Once those images become real in your brain, feelings become a lot easier to experience due to them.
It’s like the kind of feeling you get when you think about an actual memory that was real.
It could be a memory of a time you spent with a friend or a place you visited in the past.
That memory comes up in your head and it will elicit a feeling.
If it is a good memory, you may smile and feel good.
If it is a bad memory, you may frown or be unhappy.
This is the same kind of connection that you would have with this person that you weren’t serious with.
Those thoughts about this person have been so consistent in your brain that your brain simply can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t.
Hence, you begin to have feelings for this person and these feelings open you up to having a broken heart.
You may also find yourself wondering about your self-worth.
If you allow this period of a broken heart to linger for too long, your feeling of a lack of self-worth may become so strong that it literally becomes a part of who you are.
Subscribe to our newsletter for the very best in dating and relationship advice delivered daily right in your inbox. To confirm your subscription, be sure to check your spam or junk mail and mark our email address as nonspam.