Insecurities about your boyfriend’s new coworker can lead to you drawing conclusions that aren’t there.

Although his coworker is attractive, and she occasionally goes out to lunch with him alongside his coworkers, there isn’t cause for worry.

There isn’t a valid reason to worry about his coworker because she brings him cookies at work, when she does the same for everyone else at the office.

He has given her a ride home from work once or twice when an emergency occurred with her own ride, and he has done the same with male coworkers who were in the same predicament.

This is not a justifiable reason to be worried about his new coworker.

Be cognizant of your thoughts, and rein them in.

Without doing this, you read too much into a workplace relationship.

If you were to change her sex to that of a man with these incidents in mind, you wouldn’t feel so threatened.

Now, where you do need to worry about your boyfriend’s new coworker is when he is constantly going out of his way to help her with favors outside of work hours.

When he is consistently picking her up to take her somewhere she needs to get to on the weekend, this is cause for worry.

Helping her out with certain errands that have nothing to do with work, is cause for worry.

A boyfriend that is going out of his way to do favors for her outside of work-related favors, is cause for worry.

His behavior outside of his work is what has to be observed.

In developing a close relationship with her outside of work, he is no longer sticking with being professional.

This relationship has become personal.

A close relationship outside of work is a sign that he is invested in her emotionally to an extent, and thinks about her on a fairly regular basis.

Having constant thoughts about her when he is no longer in a work environment is not good.

Instead of thinking about a project they are working on, he is thinking about what she does to unwind after work.

He is wondering whether she is at her Pilates lesson or at her kid’s recital

It’s never a good thing to have a boyfriend who keeps thinking about his new female coworker outside of work.

He is visualizing what she is doing outside of work.

As this happens, the nature of his conversations with her at work, change.

He introduces topics in conversation that has nothing to do with work.

He is asking more personal questions about what she did after she got off work the previous day, or what she did over the weekend.

He follows up on how her appointment went with her hair stylist over the weekend, or whether she tried out that deli meat that he recommended to her.

At this stage, his relationship with her has transcended from one of professionalism to something deeper.

It’s personal.

While this is happening, he is doing a significant amount of her workload, and is giving excuses as to why he is doing it.

He says, “She is so new, she is still learning how things work,” or “She’s doing great, she will get better.”

He saying all this despite knowing that she is doing a terrible job, or isn’t doing her fair share of it.

These are the instances that you worry.

Take precaution when you worry.

When there is no valid reason to be worried, avoid drawing conclusions.

Instead, work on building a stronger basis of trust and camaraderie with your boyfriend.