What Should I Do If I’m Not Accomplished Enough For The Men I Like?

What Should I Do If I'm Not Accomplished Enough For The Men I Like?

Define what “accomplished” is to you.

You must know what that is to you.

When you don’t, you risk making yourself feel unworthy in comparison to the “accomplished” women who attract the men you like.

This is a slippery slope.

Different women have different goals.

You don’t have to have advanced academic degrees and a high paying job to be accomplished.

So, what is “accomplished” to you?

Believing you must achieve what these other women have, to get the man you want, blinds you to the reality that you don’t have the same goals as these women.

You have no desire to have an advanced academic degree, and yet, here you are devastated that a guy you were attracted to seems to go after women with advanced academic degrees.

Episodes like this have happened to you multiple times in the past.

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You like a guy, but he has eyes for a girl who has millions of followers on her social media, whereas you have a few thousand.

You like a guy, but he is obsessed over a friend of yours who so happens to have traveled to a boatload of countries.

You have never traveled outside of the country.

Losing out on these men to “accomplished” women with such regularity has left you believing that you aren’t “accomplished” enough and it’s depressing.

But in not defining what being “accomplished” is to you, you are putting your mental health and self-worth at a tipping point.

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It’s not about what “accomplished” means to these men.

That should never be your concern.

It is about what “accomplished” is to you.

The danger of wanting to be what these men deem as “accomplished” is in how it leads you into a life that isn’t your own.

A guy you liked never gave you a shot, choosing instead to pursue an “accomplished” woman with advanced degrees.

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So, you sign up to an academic institution in the pursuit of an advanced degree.

Not because you want this advanced degree, but so as to get this guy or another guy like him to like you.

Inevitably, you spend substantial money and time on this advanced degree and discover that you are miserable and have no interest in it.

With this failure, your self-esteem takes another massive hit as you wallow in a pool of self-pity.

Another guy you like is drawn to a woman with a ton of followers on social media.

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Desperate, wanting this guy to like you, you go all out with your social media, doing everything in your power to increase your follower count.

From harassing family members, coworkers and friends to follow your social media, to posting sexy photos of yourself to gain further notoriety, you do it all.

Months later, you have had growth but not much.

It has been an unfulfilling ordeal.

You were never a big social media person to begin with.

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Up until this obsession with growing your follower count, you primarily posted photos of nature on your social media and you were happy with that.

Exhaustion has kicked in and you realize that the last few months has done more to add stress into your life than joy.

Whatever additional social media followers you gained wasn’t worth going through this much stress, trying to be someone you weren’t.

What is “accomplished” to you?

If “accomplished” to you is getting better at a skill that you already have, this is the intelligent way to go about it.

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The same applies to wanting to pursue a career path that you have always wanted to, but have been procrastinating on.

This is the healthier approach to the idea of what an “accomplished” person is.

It should be around what you care about, not what men you have liked in the past are attracted to.

Fixating on what these men are drawn to, lures you into the trap of going after an accomplishment you could care less about, just so you attract these men.

This worsens your self-esteem and in the end, even if you accomplish it, you are left feeling empty.

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Rather, pay attention to what you want to do with your life to help you live your best life.

It is when you live a lifestyle like this that you attract the right men for you.

These are men who are drawn to your energy and share similar interests or passions.

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