It’s because they are hurting too.
Unfortunately, they react to this hurt by trying to hurt you, someone they claim to love and supposedly cherish.
This typically happens when a guy is a mess of emotions. The both of you may have just had an argument or he may simply be frustrated for whatever reason in his life.
When someone is having a hard time with something in their life, it is easy for them to try to hurt someone that they love.
A person that they love is an easy target.
So, they do it.
Again, this typically occurs as a result of either some kind of disagreement that you two have been having or because of disappointment about something going on in his life right now.
How has he been acting of late?
Is he happy and cheery?
Does he seem uneasy from time to time? Is he quick to anger with both you and others as well?
If this is the case, there may be something that he is dealing with in his own personal life that is upsetting him.
He may have missed out on a recent promotion or on some kind of opportunity.
His own immediate family could be having some family problems.
He may have some financial issues of his own that he hasn’t let you know about.
The point is, there is normally a reason why he tries to hurt you. The reason may not even be something that is based on what you did. There could be a totally unrelated problem that is making him upset that he isn’t telling you about.
As I mentioned earlier, it is easier to do or say things that will make you hurt when he is in this position because you are an easy target.
He would want to make someone hurt just so that he can feel like at least there is someone else who is going through some kind of pain.
You ever heard of that saying, “Misery loves company?”
Well, that may be what he is doing here. He may not necessarily want to hurt you on a permanent basis, he may just want to hurt you in order to somehow feel some relief from what he is going through.
If this is the scenario that you are dealing with, you really should try to let him know that you support him at this time. You should give him the impression that he is not alone.
A big reason why he may do this is because he does feel like he is alone in whatever personal struggle that he is going through. Try your best to be supportive and give him a sense of ease that allows him to know that you are both in this.
You could do this by allowing him to express his feelings. Try not to be opinionated. Simply allow him to vent.
If he feels like he can vent and get out whatever frustration he is dealing with, it will be easier for him to relax and eschew hurting you.
That may be all he needs.
Someone he can vent to. Someone he can talk to on a sincere level without fear of being judged. You would have to be that person.
The other scenario I touched on earlier was that of arguments.
He may be trying to hurt you due to an argument that the both of you had. He does this because he is hurting and isn’t really thinking rationally.
It is human nature to try to hurt someone when we are feeling hurt ourselves. It makes us feel like we got our revenge and we were able to implement some kind of emotional damage on the other person. It’s like a self-defense mechanism.
You should try to figure out why these arguments happen.
Have a sit down with him and try to talk about the problem with a level head.
Your approach should be one of love and understanding.
He should feel like you aren’t trying to blame him for anything. The vibe he should get from you is that you are not trying to win this, you are simply trying to solve it.
You should be humble and even take responsibility for certain things you may have said or done that may have added to the fervency of the argument.
No argument should go unresolved. Have a non-judgmental conversation and settle it.
The more you do this, the less arguments occur. This means that he will hurt you a lot less and will ultimately stop.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.