It may have hurt so much when he told you that he doesn’t want a relationship right now because you really care about him.
You may have spent a lot of time fantasizing about what it would be like to be in a relationship with him.
There is a good chance that a big part of you has been already looking at him as your boyfriend before the fact.
You have envisioned what it would be like when you are both exclusively dating as boyfriend and girlfriend.
You have thought about what it would be like to meet his friends as his official girlfriend.
In a lot of ways, you had already created the relationship in your head.
A part of you wanted it so bad that you couldn’t imagine not having it.
When you dedicate so much heart and emotion to something that has no guarantee of happening, it makes it that much more hurtful when you don’t get it.
The more time, fantasy and emotion you invest in this desire, the more the need for it to become a reality grows.
Every part of your being wants it to happen.
The only problem is, all of this has been one-sided.
All of the desire has been coming from your end, not his.
There is a good chance that he was never thinking any of this.
He may have simply seen this relationship as casual from the start.
He may have never wanted anything more than that.
Sure, he may have enjoyed your company. However, he wasn’t willing to take it any further than what you were already sharing with him.
It is common for two parties in a casual relationship to experience varying degrees of desire.
Typically the person who wants the serious relationship is the one that winds up getting hurt because they have spent a lot of time willing this relationship to happen in their head.
You need to understand that the person that you are dating is not always going to want the same thing you do.
In essence, they may not be on the same wavelength as you are.
This person oftentimes has come into the relationship believing that it will never get beyond a certain level.
Unfortunately, you may have come into it with a totally different mindset.
Something else that you may need to consider is that it may have hurt so much when he told you that he doesn’t want a relationship because you may want to erase the stench of your old relationship from your memory.
In other words, if your prior relationship was very unfulfilling and ended on a sour note, you may have laid a lot of your hopes on getting into a new relationship with this guy that may have more promise.
This is often the case when people are trying to get over past relationships that didn’t go very well.
You may have seen this guy as the hope that would erase all of the past mistakes from your previous relationship.
If you were to get into a relationship with him, you would be able to finally say goodbye to that previous relationship and move on in your mind.
In essence, you would give yourself closure from that previous relationship. As a result, you place a lot of emphasis on making this relationship happen.
When it doesn’t, you hurt.
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