Is There Really Someone Out There For You?

Is There Really Someone Out There For You?

There is no divine fate that makes it predestined that someone is out there for you.

No, there is no unseen power that predesignated someone for you to love and be loved by, as you wait to cross each other’s paths.

Thinking like this is ill-advised, as it results in inaction and nonchalance.

You basically wait around for that supposed “someone” to scoop you up, because, well, fate.

This leads to you getting into relationships and ending them prematurely, believing that you are merely biding your time until that “someone” that has been preordained for you shows up in your life.

Maybe you meet them at the coffee shop tomorrow or at a nightclub.

You go to bed and fall asleep with dreams of what life looks like with this special person.

Your imagination creates an unrealistic picture of what this life entails.

When you do start dating a new person and they don’t meet those expectations, you soon end the relationship, believing that they weren’t the one allocated to you by fate.

Accordingly, you wait around some more.

You go out on frivolous dates and get into short-lived relationships, always ending them because you are waiting for your “someone” and won’t accept anything less.

As a child, you watched movies and read books that made it feel like there was someone out there for you.

These movies and books always had a happy ending, with both lovebirds finally finding each other no matter the obstacles they faced.

You grew up believing in this concept and stubbornly hold onto it.

Despite witnessing your own parents, who seemed to be so in love with each other as you grew up, go through a bitter divorce.

Not to be outdone, your grandparents followed suit, divorcing after decades of marriage.

Celebrities you look up to, whose pairing looked like a match made in heaven, have done the same.

Years after marriage, many have since been divorced.

Notwithstanding, you have held on to the idea that you have “someone” out there for you.

You look for an excuse as to why the people you love have ended up divorced.

Perhaps, they married the wrong person.

No, that wasn’t the reason why their relationships didn’t work out.

After all, they too believed that they were with their “someone.”

What makes you think that you are immune from what your parents or grandparents experienced?

You aren’t immune.

No one is.

People get into relationships or marry their supposed “soulmates” all the time, only to wind up with a dissolution of the relationship or marriage a while later.

Your goal should never be to end up with your “someone.”

That person doesn’t exist.

Mitigating unhappiness and failure in a relationship requires a thorough vetting of a potential partner beforehand, having ample in common with the person, and espousing a fierce devotion to resolution, which entails immediately working through any problematic issues that arise.

Even this doesn’t guarantee a partner for life but it gives you a shot at it.

Idealizing a supposed “someone” that you believe has been preordained for you, sets you up for a lot of failure and disappointment in relationships.

Stop this.

There is no perfect person out there who has a lock on giving you a perennially happy relationship.

The best of relationships aren’t conflict-free.

They thrive and are sustained through compromise and resolution.

The sooner you realize this, the sooner you set yourself free.

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