Being less pessimistic about dating requires that you avoid judging new dating prospects based on negative experiences that you have had in dating in the past.
It can be difficult to do this because as human beings, we tend to use our past experiences to prejudge people.
You have to try to avoid this.
You need to take responsibility when it comes to failed romantic relationships that you have had in the past.
If there has been a pattern of failed relationships that has caused this kind of pessimism when it comes to dating, it may be because you have been repeatedly choosing the wrong kind of partner.
You may have a pattern of picking certain partners that have certain traits that you look for.
You may be so caught up in wanting those particular traits that you don’t look at the rest of the person’s personality.
Just because the person has a few traits that you really want in a partner doesn’t mean that they would be the ideal partner for you.
You should always look at your romantic partners as whole.
They will have positive and negative qualities.
If you only ever focus on the positive qualities that you really like and disregard the negative, you will constantly be disappointed in relationships.
You need to start making this adjustment in who you choose to date in the future.
Do not get caught up in certain qualities that make you incredibly attracted and drawn to them.
Look at the person as a whole.
Take account of other qualities that they possess that aren’t positive.
Perhaps take some time before choosing to get into relationships with them just so that you can get a better sense of how dominant the negative side of them is.
People will often be at their best behavior at the early stages of dating.
This is why you must remain patient.
Oftentimes, a person’s negative traits will come out as the interaction progresses over time because they are not going to be able to help it.
This is where time works in your favor.
A person can only keep that negative side to them at a distance for so long. Eventually, it will come out.
This is when you will give yourself a much better chance of knowing whether this is someone that you should continue dating or not.
Try not to allow the feeling of pessimism that you have about dating to ruin the possibility of having positive romantic relationships in the future.
If you actually make some changes in how you go about approaching romance and dating, you may actually start getting better results.
The next person that you take a romantic interest in should be someone that you approach with an open mind.
However, do remember that you need to have patience.
You need to avoid getting too drawn to what you love so much about the person.
Give your interaction with the person some time so that you can avail yourself of what some of their negative attributes are.
Then and only then will you get a better idea about whether this would be a good person to get into a relationship with.
About The Author
Hi, I'm Luke, CEO and Founder of DatingLogic.net, dating coach, travel and nature lover, movie buff and cheetos junkie, Connect with me on Facebook.
Join The Discussion