You can use what you learn about their past relationships.
When this person tells you about their past, get clues from that to help you determine if they have commitment issues.
How long were the previous romantic relationships?
How happy was this person in those relationships?
Does this person tend to tell you positive things about their previous relationships or negative things?
In these discussions, do you notice that this person always seems to focus on themselves and how their needs weren’t met by a previous partner?
This is one of the most effective ways to determine whether someone has commitment issues early on.
Use what you learn about their previous romantic relationships as your guide.
If they have had very short romantic relationships in the past that barely lasted a few months, they may have commitment issues.
If they have always been unhappy in those relationships, it may be because they were never capable of accepting their partner’s flaws and thereby they may have moved to other prospects very quickly due to their quest for perfection in a partner.
If this person tends to talk about negative things when it comes to their previous relationships, it may be because they are always looking for someone to blame and are never willing to accept their own responsibility.
A person like this will normally not be willing to work through problems that may arise during the course of the relationship.
This often means that they will tend to want to abandon ship the moment the relationship hits an iceberg or a rocky patch.
If this person is always focused on how their needs weren’t met in these relationships, they may be selfish.
When they are only concerned about what they can get out of a relationship, they will not care about their partner’s needs.
If this person is not committed to both their needs and that of their partner’s, the relationship will be one-sided.
This often leads to despair and unhappiness.
Thereby, the relationship doesn’t last.
These are the clues you can take from what this person tells you about their previous relationships or what you hear from this person’s friends, family or colleagues about their previous relationships.
If you are getting these accounts from friends, family, colleagues or even this person’s previous partners and you notice that there is a pattern of similarity in what you are hearing, these accounts are probably true.
Another effective way of determining if someone has commitment issues early on is by how often they flake on dates or on ventures that you both agreed to do beforehand.
If it always seems like this person will set something up with you but ultimately fail to show up or complete the venture, they may have commitment issues.
It can be something as simple as not making it to dates and constantly coming up with excuses.
These excuses add up.
When this person can’t even make it to dates on a regular basis, they are already showing traits of disloyalty.
When they say that they will accomplish a certain task with you but they end up not following through, they are not trustworthy.
These are early signs that you may be dealing with a person who has commitment issues.
A lack of commitment to dates or tasks can easily lead to a lack of commitment to the relationship as a whole.
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