You should take into account how much effort you have put into this interaction with this person.
If there is a feeling that you have put in a lot more effort than the other person has, you may be better off letting this one go.
You have to understand that oftentimes people get off on the attention that they are getting from another and they are not necessarily looking for more.
Perhaps this person has made you feel as though they are interested.
Perhaps you have had interesting conversations with this person to the point where you feel like the both of you see eye to eye.
This is often what would make someone in your position begin to believe that there is a chance with this person.
Do understand that if this person hasn’t followed up on what they have been telling you with real action, these are just words.
Words in this context aren’t being followed up by action which indicates that the words are, well, meaningless.
You do need to think about this because people so often get caught up in what they think the other person is feeling that they are blind to what is happening right in from of them.
Also, you should understand that what you want out of all of this may not be what you need.
You may be going through a period in your life right now where you just feel that you need someone in it.
You may feel that this other person is going to help you get through whatever emotional issues or deficiencies that you are going through right now.
However, you do need to understand that moments like this, when you are emotionally weak or dependent on someone else, are typically the moments where we make the worst decisions.
Take a step back and take a look at your life.
If you do an assessment right now and notice that you have felt an emotional rift in your life or that you are at a stage where you are simply looking for someone to help you feel better about yourself, you should take serious note of that.
Your solution wouldn’t be to try everything in your power to get this person that you like to be with you.
Someone else can’t really solve this issue.
This is where you will have to dig deep and work hard to better your own sense of self-worth.
It is something that takes time but it can be done.
In the end, the goal is to get you to a place mentally where you are capable of making the best choice for yourself as far as finding a mate that is based on clarity and not emotional desperation.
This person who has most likely not been giving you the kind of response you would want may also be able to sense that you are desperate for this kind of attention or fulfillment in your life.
Unfortunately, some people do take advantage of that.
You may be better off letting this one go if you have been going about things with this approach.
This allows you to keep your sense of self-worth intact and also helps to make you realize that you are better off having a more multi-faceted life filled with other fulfilling activities.
One thought on “Should I Just Let This One Go?”
Hello, I need some advice please! Hope you can answer this for me. To start from the beginning, I met Jack on Valentine’s Day event with his sister who I am friends with. It was unplanned because she was trying to get the gang together and so far it was just me from the friend group, her and her brother. On that night, we talked a lot to where his sister teased him about following me like a puppy and he kept teasing me with short jokes the entire night. Then after the event was over, he took me back to my place. After that, we didn’t talk again until I found him on social media a month later. Then we started talking every day. We would talk about everything under the sun like our family pasts, relationships we have been in, how I am moving to Florida after graduation and how he supports everything that I want to do and could do long distance, etc. After that, he told his friends and family we were talking to each other and his friends were happy, but his family and sister were wary of us. Then one day after that week, he asked me what were we question and I freaked out and told him it wasn’t a good time. He respected that and we didn’t talk again until I graduated a month later. After graduation, we again started up again. He then found out my plans for Florida weren’t going to work and that I was in California with my grandma because my dad sent me over to get away from my mother. He told me he was happy I was out of my situation. Like I said we started again in May and we kind of made it official for a week. Let me explain: when I came to California, we talked for a week until he called us off. During that week, we again talked about everything. How I was now restarting life and that he wants to visit me, us dating, our pasts, health issues, the dreams we both were in (there was one I should have seen as a red flag because he had a dream where he was standing on a cliff and there was a tall woman in a wedding dress and red hair and overtime he stepped closer, she moved away. I’m a short girl with brown hair…), the time I was assaulted by one of my guy friends, exes, jobs, when he almost got married, what happens if we were to meet each others family (I only knew his sister but never met the family), how my ex-was literally sending me pics when we were talking and making fun of him together and what we want in the future. He was the exact person as me: same personality, same humor, same life experiences, same family life and crap that has happened, etc. Okay, the future talk might be one of the reasons he called us off. He wants a housewife who homeschools the 14 kids, while he goes to work or vice verse even though he kinda wants the wife to stay. He has very strict Christian rules: no premarital sex, can’t live with each other before marriage and has to be a certain type of church. For me, I can’t have kids due to my health issues (which he said we could adopt), how I want to live with someone for a year or so before marriage. But after those types of talks is when I started to fully fall for him and I told him I had feelings for him in subtle ways. I fell for his heart. Then after a week, he calls me up saying to not hang up but he wants us to be friends and how we fell for each other too fast, he has this rule where he is friends with a girl for a year to get to know them then sees if he wants to date them, he might be moving to Texas because his grandma is sick, and he didn’t want to tell me he also had feelings because he had several things he needs to work on for himself. He then also told me he is very strong-willed and basically told me I am too weak for him. He said I also was distracting him at work and his co-workers think it’s funny that he’s talking to a 12-year-old. He also told me he still cares for me and wants me to be in his life so we should give this thought for a week and talk about it. After that call, I cried for 2 days straight. So after that, I didn’t talk to him for a week. After a week I messaged him asking if we could talk and he said he thought about it when he was on a business trip and talked to his family and still stands on us being friends. I lied saying that is what I wanted to talk about even though I wanted to tell him I didn’t want to be friends because I still have feelings for him. I have tried being friends with an ex before and it didn’t work. He knew that. After that, he stopped answering any of my messages and I deleted him off of social media. I mean he would answer some messages like when I would get a job interview or something to do with work. Then 2 weeks later I try to add him back on Facebook, blocks me but I guess he added me on snap chat. With snapchat, he doesn’t answer any of my messages but looks at my stories that I post (it notifies you when someone looks at your story or at least on my phone it does). During Independence Day, he started actually answering my messages and we were having more of conversations. He informed me he might be moving to Portland for his job and other things that had happened. Still not the 24/7 messaging we used to do. Well when he asked me about my 4th, I accidentally told him I got drunk and called a cute guy I met earlier that day (I kinda was drunk when he messaged me hence the accidental) and he kind of became very short with his answer but also said that he hopes it works out for us. I replied saying you know my history, it won’t work out. And now we kinda have been snap chatting and gave me advice on what to do with my should I work for Disney or go to Australia with my sister. He told it would be better to move with my sister and go to another country or at least what he would do. But then he kinda stopped and I’m like that’s short lived but now he will answer some of my messages. I’m at the point of I don’t know what to do? I still like the boy and there’s a part of me that wants to tell him I miss talking to him and that I like him, but then there’s a part of me saying it’ll ruin our “friendship” and that he doesn’t like me and that the friendship rule thing is a cope out. I’m at the point, like I said I don’t know what to do?
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