Go For the Second Date Kiss Or Not?

Go For the Second Date Kiss Or Not?

You really shouldn’t allow the planning of a second date kiss to come into your mind prematurely.

If you start thinking about having a second date kiss, you may ultimately mess this whole thing up.

Your point of focus would be misguided and this can create a problem.

You would be thinking more so about the kiss than the actual date.

You may become so stuck on having this second date kiss that you may miss out on cues that she is sending you during the second date.

She may give you the cues that tell you that this is the right time to go for the kiss or this is the wrong time to go for it.

However, you would miss out on them because you are so concerned about making this second date kiss happen at the time of your choosing.

This could also make you very anxious during the date.

You may not be paying that much attention.

She may be telling you about something and you are barely listening because you are thinking about when the right time would be to have the second date kiss.

Again, you would be missing all the cues that she is sending you.

It would become all about doing this second date kiss at a planned time that you have set in your head.

You may have told yourself that you will plant the kiss at the end of the date or at some point in particular during the date.

You have consciously set this as the time that you are going to go for it.

You do this irrespective of the fact that the best time to give her the second date kiss may have been during a slight break in conversation that you just had.

Perhaps she was giving you that look that was literally inviting you to come in for the kiss but you didn’t do it.

You didn’t do it because you already planned when you were going to go for the second date kiss.

Hence, you have just missed out on the opportunity.

If you were now to go for the kiss at the time you planned out in your mind, it could be the wrong time.

Even though she may have wanted a kiss earlier she may feel awkward about getting it at this moment of your choosing.

It may feel forced to her.

The kiss may suffer as a result.

A bad kiss could really ruin everything.

She may have been all into you but now she isn’t because the kiss just didn’t work.

Bad timing resulted in a bad kiss and now she isn’t so sure about you.

Perhaps she will give you another chance on a third date, perhaps she won’t.

However, one thing is for certain.

She isn’t impressed.

This is why you should just let the kiss happen when it feels right.

Avoid allowing yourself to think about it and plan when it should happen.

Indeed, it could happen on the second date.

However, it could also happen on the third or fourth.

You just can’t determine when it would be because it is something that should happen naturally within the flow of the date.

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2 thoughts on “Go For the Second Date Kiss Or Not?”

  1. I went on a good second date last night. He paid for dinner when I got up for the toilet, we chatted and laughed. Toward the end of the date he became more touchy feely which I didn’t mind, but then as we were leaving the restaurant he did something that threw me: he held my hand. I haven’t been in a relationship for some time, and even then I wasn’t really much of a hand-holder, although I think I’d like to be.

    Anyway, he walked me to the bus stop (walked the wrong way because I was so thrown!) and we had our first kiss which while not dreadful was… awkward. There were people waiting for the bus, and then the bus came, and I kind of had to sprint off. I sent him a text to say thank you and sorry about the rush but now I’m thinking I need to redeem myself somehow. He’s going abroad for work at the end of the week and will be gone a while. Should I try to see him (and give him a proper kiss!) again before then?

  2. Hi Carly,

    Yes you should try to see him before he goes abroad for work at the end of the week.

    However, don’t do it with the goal of giving him a proper kiss. That will just put undue pressure and expectations on the date that may actually be detrimental to your interaction with him.

    Just go on the date and let it flow naturally.

    If you reach a point during or at the end of the date where a kiss feels natural to do, go for it.

    That is the best way to approach it.

    Avoid trying to put a scorecard on your kiss.

    Just let it be natural.

    Even if it still feels awkward the second time around, as long as the both of you truly like each other and want to see more of each other, the kissing will get better with time.

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