How Do You Tell Someone That You’re Not Interested In Them Without Hurting Them?

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How Do You Tell Someone That You're Not Interested In Them Without Hurting Them?

Be impartial about your disinterest.

Concern about hurting them is not relevant.

Someone you aren’t interested in isn’t owed anything.

People who are reluctant to be forthright, use ambiguity to their detriment.

Instead of being direct in telling the person that there is no interest, they play with words.

They say things like, “I have been so busy. I’ll take a look at my schedule and get back with you.”


“I have a trip this week, but when I get back next week let’s set something up.”

They are so concerned about not hurting the person, they play with words that create false hope.

Giving someone who is interested in you false hope is a lot worse than being straightforward with them and telling them that you are not interested in them romantically right up front.

Yes, the truth stings, but how good this person feels isn’t your responsibility.

That is not your job.

The only thing that you are responsible for is being real and forthright about how you accurately feel and conveying that message effectively to them.

Going around everyday worried about hurting someone else’s feelings makes everyone a programmed robot, literally agreeing to everything.

Nice sales guy tries to sell you that ugly car, you buy it, as you don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Waiter gives you lousy service, you give him a great tip regardless so as not to hurt his feelings.

An older person cuts in front of you in line and you say nothing, to avoid hurting their feelings, after all, we are all taught as kids to respect our elders.

You see, these are all situations where you need to speak up and assert yourself.

You are not responsible for someone’s feelings as long as you have been authentic about your own.

Tell this person that you are not interested in them romantically.

Nothing unreasonable about liking this person as a friend and wanting to have them in your life in that capacity, but you have to be clear that this is all you want from the relationship.

The truth stings, but the sting dissipates with time.

People respond to frankness surprisingly well.

Blunt truth delivered politely as opposed to stuttering out some lame excuse has a much warmer effect than you realize.

They hurt for a while but they get over it.

It is not your responsibility to be worried about how what you say is going to hurt someone else’s feelings as long as you are true.

How they handle the information is their responsibility.

You aren’t the world’s emotional police.

Avoid getting into long-winded details about why you don’t like them.

An explanation isn’t necessary.

You have the right to like who you like without apology.

Many get over it relatively quickly as long as you are impartial and you don’t give them false hope.

Abstain from vagueness, so that you both move on with your lives with a clear conscience.

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