Be honest. This is the best way to tell someone that you’re not interested in them without hurting them.
The biggest mistake that people make when they are in this situation is using ambiguity.
Instead of being direct in telling them that there is no interest, they play with words.
They say things like, “I am just so busy right now. Maybe I will have more time in the future.”
“I really like you and maybe we can do something when I get back from …….”
This is not the way to go about it.
You are so concerned about not hurting the person that you are essentially giving them false hope.
Giving someone who is interested in you false hope is a lot worse than simply being honest with them and telling them that you are not interested in them romantically right up front. This is important to understand.
Yes, the truth stings.
However, you are not responsible to make this person feel good. That is not your job. The only thing that you are responsible for is being real and honest about how you truly feel and conveying that message effectively to them.
If we were to go around everyday worried about hurting someone else’s feelings, we would literally agree to everything.
Nice sales guy tries to sell you that ugly car, you buy it because you don’t want to hurt his feelings.
Waiter gives you lousy service, you give him a great tip anyway because you don’t want to hurt his feelings.
An older person cuts in front of you in line, you say nothing because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
You see, these are all situations where you need to speak up and assert yourself. You are not responsible for people’s feelings as long as you have been honest about your own.
Hence, you should simply tell this person that you are not interested in them romantically. If you truly like this person as a friend and would like to have them in your life, you can tell them that you are willing to be friends, but nothing more.
Again, the truth stings.
However, this feeling will dissipate with time. You would be surprised at how well some people respond to honesty. If you were simply to be honest with them and not give them some lame excuse or false hope, they would actually appreciate that a lot more.
They may hurt for a while but they will get over it.
Again, it is not your responsibility to be worried about how what you say is going to hurt someone else’s feelings as long as you are honest. How they deal with the information is their responsibility. You cannot be the world’s emotional police.
Hence, use honesty as your tool.
Try to avoid getting into long-winded details about why you don’t like them. That isn’t necessary. You honestly don’t have to have an explanation. You have the right to like who you like without apology.
Your most important task here is to simply be honest.
They will deal with that information in their own way.
Many will get over it relatively quickly as long as you are honest and you don’t give them false hope.
Hence, you should always focus on being true and honest as opposed to being vague.
This allows the both of you to be able to move on with your lives with a clear conscience and a good attitude.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.