It’s a form of control.
The threats and how you react to them in fright, give him a sense of security in knowing just how much control he has over your emotions.
With all the threats he has made to leave you, he still remains.
Yet, you are worried about the next time.
Perhaps this is when he truly leaves.
Emotion is a powerful sensation.
When it comes to relationships, it’s better to feel positive emotions.
The emotion you feel when you know you are safe.
It’s so reassuring.
When was the last time you truly felt safe with your boyfriend?
Just thinking about it, you realize that the majority of the moments you have with him are always froth with fear.
The fear that he is going to threaten to leave you yet again, and this time, he actually does it.
This isn’t how you should live in a relationship.
When there is no real sense of safety, it’s impossible to truly grow in the relationship in a positive manner.
All you would be doing is either taking measures to avoid the possibility of him leaving you, whether you are happy with those measures or not, or cross yourself every time you are with him in the hopes that he stays in a good mood and doesn’t threaten to leave.
Boyfriends who do this come from a bad history of relationships.
Oftentimes, they have been at the receiving end of someone who would threaten to constantly leave them.
This was someone they deeply cared about to the point where they couldn’t imagine living life without them.
They did everything they could to keep that person happy, but eventually, the inevitable happened, and the person left them.
After a period of intense emotional pain and anguish, they make themselves a promise.
No one is going to have a hold on them emotionally in that capacity ever again.
This time, they are the ones who must have the control.
With this mindset, they meet new people and get into new relationships.
Your boyfriend knew from the very start of his relationship with you that he would use this tactic.
It didn’t matter how amazing of a girlfriend you were.
For all he cared, you could have been the carbon copy of his ex-girlfriend, with all the good and none of the bad.
He is already over the deep end.
So broken by his previous experience, his mind has constructed a self-defense mechanism to keep him from ever experiencing that hurt again.
What should you do?
Staying in this ugly state is only going to make you that much more anxious.
In time, just like quicksand, it sucks you in and swallows you up.
You can’t lose yourself to this man.
Something needs to be done.
The next time he tells you he is going to leave, tell him to leave.
Yes, you heard it right.
Tell him to do just that, leave.
Call his bluff.
He is going to be shocked at first, as he isn’t used to this reaction from you, but his ego takes over and he walks out.
Don’t freak out.
Every fiber in your being is going to be screaming to call or text him and beg him to forgive you and come back.
Boyfriends like this always cave when you call them out.
As long as you stand your ground and avoid reaching out to him in any capacity, he eventually caves and contacts you.
When he does, this is your moment.
Let him know in no uncertain terms that he mustn’t threaten to leave you again in the manner he does.
This is when he tries to butter you up a little, but you aren’t falling for it.
Do we have a deal?
He realizes you aren’t joking and reluctantly agrees.
He is used to power and being in control.
So, he might have to catch himself in the future from making those threats and he shall.
But, this is how you reclaim a balance of control in your relationship.
You have to be gutsy in making this move and not cave to your emotions until you have gotten what you want, but it is what needs to be done.
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