Experience normally breeds comfort.
A lack of experience when it comes to going out on dates is something that can easily sow seeds of discomfort.
Even worse when the few experiences you have had on dates haven’t worked out well.
The conversation was uninspired and way too safe.
The location was a bust.
Too many awkward silences.
You couldn’t stand how he spoke with his mouth open.
He drank too much and ended up puking.
He seemed to be looking at everyone else but you.
The end of the date was awful.
He tried to kiss you but you were grossed out and turned away.
Or, even worse, the date was actually good, so good you found yourself expecting or waiting for the kiss and he gave you one of those awkward bear hugs, turned around and walked away never to be heard from again.
Negative dating experiences contribute to a sense of awkwardness whenever you go out on a date.
With a lack of experience in going on a significant number of dates, negative experiences only make you wonder whether every date is going to turn out the same way.
Unfortunately, this is how the wrong seeds are planted in your mind.
A cute guy just asked you out and instead of feeling excited over the prospect of meeting him on a date, all you are thinking about is how bad the last date with the last guy you went out with went.
Like a movie reel, awkward scenes from that date suddenly inundate your mind.
It’s so vivid, you even remember the exact outfit he was wearing and the suffocating smell of his cologne.
That’s your heart beginning to beat a little faster than the norm as fear of how this new date is going to turn out bludgeons your senses.
Stop. Right. Here.
An ability to keep your mind from leading you down a very dark rabbit hole of failed past dating experiences is a first step in helping you get past the awkwardness you feel while on a date.
This is where it starts.
Forget about the past dates.
Clearly, this isn’t easy.
Your mind is a very powerful reminder.
This is where you get it preoccupied.
Direct your thoughts towards some activity or task that needs to be done.
Focus on this activity or task and get to doing it.
While your mind is preoccupied with this, it isn’t sending you those worrisome images of what your last date was like.
This works very well from keeping you from getting lost in those thoughts, but at some point, you are going to be idle again.
We all know what happens when we are idle.
You got it.
Thoughts find their way back in.
When you are idle, you still need to keep these thoughts at bay.
Do this exercise.
The moment a negative thought comes up that is designed to scare you into thinking this new date is going to be just as bad as the last, think about a time when something really worked out for you.
A really good day or moment.
It made you feel good, real good.
Perhaps it was a promotion you had at work.
A family member bringing another human being into the world.
Moving into your current home.
Going nuts at Karaoke.
Visiting the Caribbean last spring.
Direct your thoughts to something you have experienced that made you feel good.
These images pop into your mind like a firecracker.
Eventually they settle as you relive those moments and get invested in them.
Before you know it, all you are feeling is good and you don’t want any negative thoughts about some past date to mess up this feeling.
Before you know it, you are moving on to some other activity you need to get done before bed.
Do this each and every day.
On the day of the date, you aren’t going to feel awkward at all.
Yes, the common nerves that occur when you are meeting someone for the first time happen.
But, they are in no way as harmful as the usual negativity that permeates your mind on dates.
These are just temporary nervous ticks that subside as the date progresses.
So much of the reason why you feel awkward while on a date starts with all the negativity and anxiety your mind pounds into your psyche days before the date.
When you control how your mind works whenever you have an upcoming date, you go into that new date a lot freer, which lends a massive hand in making your date a lot less awkward.