Most people erroneously believe that you need a partner to be happy in life.

For them, seeing friends, colleagues and family members in loving relationships is a constant reminder that they aren’t in one.

They yearn to have what their friends, colleagues and family members are experiencing.

It has to be amazing, right?

Every time they see one of these individuals with their partner, they look so happy.

Then, the news comes out of nowhere.

That friend who seemed to be on top of the world with their partner, just had a breakup or divorce.

You are shocked.

You thought that this pair would never break up.

They seemed so perfect for each other.

You see this occur with other friends, colleagues and family members.

Seemingly perfect couples breaking up, getting divorced, fighting over custody of their children, trying to besmirch each other’s reputations in an attempt to get more leverage during divorce proceedings, etc.

It’s a mess.

Unimaginable.

Unconscionable.

Yet, this is reality.

Even more baffling, these folks get into new relationships not too long after, only to have the same occurrence some time later.

A lot of this is driven by the fear of being alone.

It becomes an endless cycle of starts and stops, starts and stops.

Is this happiness that so many believe can only happen when you have a partner truly valid?

It all seems to be temporary.

Even those you know whose relationships seem to have withstood the test of time don’t always seem to be truly happy.

You have heard complaints coming from them when they know their partner is out of earshot and it is safe to voice their disapproval with said partner.

It gets to a point where it feels like they are only with each other for the convenience, familiarity and the security.

The passion that once existed between them is gone and it doesn’t look like either one is interested in finding a way to get it back.

They have resolved themselves to remain in this state of suspension somewhere between what was once happiness and misery.

They don’t believe that ending the relationship is a good option.

Who else is going to put up with them at this point in their lives?

Might as well stay put.

Now, relationships obviously aren’t all doom and gloom.

There are partners who are very happy with each other and continue to thrive.

But, their happiness isn’t derived solely from their relationship.

Their happiness is derived from life and how they chose to live their lives long before they got into a relationship.

They were happy before they met their partner.

Their happiness is now enhanced as they share with a partner in a life they were already enjoying.

That partner isn’t the source of their happiness.

That partner merely enhances it.

If you make yourself believe that a partner is what truly makes you happy and put all your focus on finding said partner, you could end up where your friends, colleagues and family members who have broken up or gotten divorced are now.

Or, you just become that zombie that chooses to stay in a relationship as you have no better options and it is just safer.

The right approach to love should be in finding happiness within yourself first.

You have to be comfortable with being alone, as in, not having a partner, before you are truly able to recognize all the joys life has to offer.

Becoming in love with your life and who you are.

This is ‘true’ happiness.

It’s a happiness that isn’t dependent on someone else.

It has settled deep within you.

Pure and exhilarating.

A happiness that lasts forever.

Now you know how happy you are when alone.

You don’t fear being alone.

You have never been happier.

It is in this place of understanding that you are able to approach finding a partner with the right mindset.

You haven’t made the choice to find a partner so as to become happy or avoid being alone.

You are doing it to share your already amazing life with someone who has the same outlook on life and lives it to the fullest.

This is where you are looking to enhance your happiness.

This means that you aren’t going to simply be with a partner because everyone you know is with one.

No, you have no need nor desire to be desperate.

This way of going about it affords you the opportunity to choose your partner wisely.

These are often the relationships that truly last forever.

Neither one came together for the purpose of finding happiness.

They came together to share in each other’s happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind.

Those who look solely to a partner to make them happy often end up miserable, bouncing from one failed relationship to the next or choosing to settle in mediocrity.