Taking back the one you love multiple times is how you show a reluctance to let this person go.
Your love for the person has blinded you to the reality of your situation.
You keep telling yourself that things are going to be better this time around and that your love for this person is going to conquer any obstacles that arise.
The reality is, love takes you only so far.
A constant rewind, like you are reliving Groundhog day, as you give this person endless latitude to keep coming back, is your sign that doing the same thing over and over again won’t work.
This has nothing to do with how much love you have to give.
It is not about how much this person loves you either.
Love is only a part of a relationship.
There are other areas that have to come together for your relationship to be viable and functional.
Don’t keep looking at your love for this person as the sole reason why this relationship has a shot.
Taking this person back over and over again on account of love doesn’t lead to a miraculous resolution, no matter how much you do it.
Look at this with the right frame of mind and a clear head.
It sounds romantic and hopeful, but the troubles in your relationship go a lot further than merely love.
These troubles are fundamental.
Have you figured out what these issues are with the one you love?
Have you worked on them together?
Do you come up with new solutions when prior solutions don’t work out?
Taking this person back without addressing and working on the fundamental issues in this relationship is a ticket to repeated failure.
Coming back together always feels good at first.
The conversation is robust and the sex is amazing.
Inevitably, everything dies down.
The old issues resurface and the relationship fails, yet again.
The only route out of this endless cycle is to work on the issues and avoid being intimate until those issues are resolved.
Once sexual intimacy is introduced, the task of resolving issues takes a backseat.
This is why you must avoid sexual intimacy until you have put in the work to fix the issues over a sustained period of time and achieved success.
Sex is as distracting as your desire to fulfill an emotional need.
In your case, that emotional need is one of desiring love.
These two objectives have to wait.
Instead, your primary objective must be to end this cycle of failure.
Where do you see yourself a year or so from now?
Do you genuinely see a bright future with this person should they be in your life in a year’s time?
As human beings, we have a limited time on this earth.
Do you want to spend your limited precious years repeatedly taking this person back in the hopes it works out?
Without joint effort to fix the issues over a sustained period of time, there is no hope.
Did it four times .and he gave me money everytime,to help with bills fixed my car watched movie a with me .it always last about a week or two then disappear s with out a word. Why does he do this and I still love him but Will not do it again I’m emotionally scared. and depressed.
Hi Drb,
He probably does it because he wants to make sure that he doesn’t lose you entirely.
There are some guys who would rather have a number of girls that they know they can always go back to. They don’t really want anything serious.
They just want to keep that girl or girls as options.
They know that every so often they will need someone to talk to or someone that will make them feel loved.
If you have decided not to do it again, you will have to be serious about it.
When he is ready to come back temporarily, it will be tempting to let him back in.
He does do favors for you as well and he may try to use that to entice you.
You will have to be prepared fo this and ensure that you don’t give in again.