Why Is My Ex Texting Me Again, Out Of The Blue?

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Why Is My Ex Texting Me Again, Out Of The Blue?

An ex who texts you again out of the blue has either recently gone through a breakup that has left them unhappy or they have been single for an extended period of time and are lonely.

When exes hear from each other after a sustained period of time, it is due to a sense of loss, unhappiness or a sudden drop to their sense of self-esteem.

An ex who texts you out of loneliness is as clear-cut as they come.

They haven’t had much luck replacing you and are settling for you.

An ex who texts you after having gone through a recent breakup did so after rethinking their past relationships.



They are comparing their past relationships to the one that recently ended, caught up in the idea they messed up somewhere.

Doubt has interceded their daily thoughts profoundly and they want to feel a better sense of who they are and their self-worth.

Inevitably, they think of you.

An ex.

They recall the relationship that they had with you.



They compare that relationship to the one that recently ended.

That memory seems so much better, as they remember how happy they were when they were with you.

There is a temporary boost in their sense of self-esteem, giving them a temporary high.

They convince themselves that they meant something to you.

As they recall, whispering to themselves internally about how much better their relationship with you was, they realize that getting back in touch with you is going to make them feel better.



The more they think about this, the more enticing it is.

So what do they end up doing?

They text you out of the blue.

Your ex’s state of mind at this moment isn’t good, having gone through a recent breakup.

In that state of mind, they are desperate to feel better about themselves.



Think about it for a moment?

Why does anyone just text you out of the blue when they haven’t maintained any communication?

They haven’t contacted you to ask about your well-being all this time.

As far as they were concerned, you no longer existed in their eyes.

Now, all of a sudden, out of the blue, they contact you.



You have been going through the ups and downs of life without their aid nor concern.

They weren’t there when you were fired from work, had a falling out with a loved one, faced eviction from your apartment, had your purse or wallet stolen, etc.

Now, they show up?

Doesn’t that sound odd and peculiar?

Of course it does.



Customarily, this is behavior from a person reacting to something that just happened in their lives.

Contacting you is a reactionary act.

They haven’t entirely thought it through, approaching this selfishly, focused on bettering some aspect of themselves at this time whether it be mental or physical.

Yes, the physical too.

Having gone through a recent breakup, they are sexually frustrated.



Being that they have had a previous relationship with you, it’s more promising to use you as their avenue to make up for their lack of sex at this time, than to find someone new.

They either want to fulfill an emotional or physical need, or both.

Don’t be anyone’s emotional or physical relief.

Be careful.

Having unresolved feelings for an ex makes you susceptible to texting them back and giving them the opening to slide back into your life.



Do this at your peril.

An ex who only texted you back out of selfish intentions uses you as a placeholder until they move on to the next.

Is that what you want?

Of course not.

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4 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Texting Me Again, Out Of The Blue?”

  1. Sounds logical and it just happened to me. Ex just contacted me out of the blue after all that time. A year and some months to be exact. No communication of any kind and then “bam”. Got an email from her. Hope you’re well…just wanted to say hello. I didn’t resond back right away and I waited a couple of days before I even responded back. A simple one line response. “Nice to hear from you. I’m doing fine. Take Care” I had all but forgotten about her and then she pops up. It seems like they have a sixth sense when they know you’ve moved on from them and then they contact you out of the blue. My conclusion. When an ex contacts you out of the blue, something’s up. Then again they may very well have a genuine reason for contacting you and actually wwnt to know how you are. Then again I may wrong. That’s a chance I’m not willing to take again. The past belongs in the past. those who fail to learn from history are bound to repeat it.

  2. Hi Tim,

    Indeed, exes tend to contact out of the blue quite often.

    They reach out often because they get lonely or want something safe and familiar back into their lives.

    However, it can often lead to confusion when the person on the other end, someone like you for example, has already moved on.

    And yes, it does seem like they have a sixth sense at times and can tell that their ex has moved on.

    As you stated, those who fail to learn from history are bound to repeat it.

  3. My ex just texted me out of the blue after three months of radio silence because he couldn’t stand talking to me anymore to ask me if I really told his twin brother I didn’t want to talk to him because he reminds me of my ex. I told him I told my friend who happens to be dating his twin that and that was after school got out and I didn’t want to deal with anyone connected to him anymore. And besides, the twin and I never got along and weren’t friends to start with.
    Anyway I’m trying really hard not to text him back because the people around me have all said he is just being a dbag but it’s hard because I still have feelings for him. I don’t want to have feelings for him but he was/is my first love, first sexual partner, first everything. And I can’t seem to think of a reason of why he would contact me and why he is so angry about what I said. After I told him I told his twins girlfriend he said that I was a real piece of work and I was basically a bitch for not telling his twin to his face. I’m just really confused. Any insights?

  4. An ex from 30 years ago writes to me now and again. We were both married, but had only been married for a few years when we met. Friendship that seemed safe gradually turned to more until one day I just realised it was love. But I loved my husband more or maybe I just didn’t want to disappoint or hurt my family. In the end it seemed fairer to take the pain of leaving myself.

    The ex moved away and occasionally writes. I could have had a happy life with him, but I made my choice and I made the right choice. My husband is so easy to get along with and he’s always there for me.

    We now have two grow up daughters. Yet when this ex writes to me out of the blue every year or so to tell me how he thinks about me still, or I play the classical music we listening to together at concerts, it churns me up for the day.

    The advice given by Luke is correct, it’s about them not you. Something is happening in their lives to make them sad or to remember good times with you. In his case, he’s moving to Ireland so it makes the distance between us greater.

    I always send a friendly response and never let on how much it’s churned me up to hear from him and know he still loves me – we’ve chosen our paths and there’s no going back. I will never meet him again because it would be too hard.

    A

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