How Often Do You See A Person You Just Started Dating?

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How Often Do You See A Person You Just Started Dating?

Each relationship is distinct.

Some start off strong with such intense chemistry, seeing each other multiple times a week fits their relationship dynamic like a glove.

Beware.

Too much of each other too soon leads to a faster loss of energy.

It’s like a light that comes on with a surge, flickers and dies soon after.



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Then there are other relationships that emerge a little slower as far as dating is concerned.

This is more of the norm and what you need to aim for.

A slower emergence.

As a rule of thumb, keep your dates to one a week in the early stages.

This keeps you from getting ahead of yourself and overdoing it.



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Seeing each other too much too early is overwhelming.

Rather than taking the time to become acquainted, too much too early applies so much undue pressure on the relationship.

This is where you are now doing too much, pushing yourself to keep up at a breakneck pace and it doesn’t take long before you reach burnout.

Fatigue has kicked in too soon.

Having experienced so much with each other so fast, there has been no room to breathe.



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You have fallen off on your hobbies during this time and cancelled meeting up with friends and family to meet up with this person.

Your regular schedule is off-kilter, on account of the sheer number of dates you are going to with this person you just started dating.

Soon, it is too much to bear and burnout occurs.

This is sad.

There was a likelihood this coupling had promise, but with too much done too soon, the fire burned out and the potential is lost.



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Rather than focusing on quantity this early, focus on quality.

You don’t need to go on a lot of dates early on to keep the momentum going.

The greater you emphasize on quality of dates in the outset over quantity, the further excited you are about seeing this person every time you meet.

It is a lot more exciting to look forward to going sailing with your date the following week than going on yet another bland date a day or two after the last date.

Maintaining that sense of excitement this early matters.



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Efficient time between dates, gives more time to planning for better quality dates.

When you think about them, you are looking forward to seeing them again and excited about what you are going to be doing.

You feel this sense of excitement because you had so much fun going to a quality date the last time you saw each other.

You don’t get this sense of excitement when the last time you saw them was just yesterday and the two of you went on a bland date.

When there is too much date overload in the outset of the relationship, the sense of excitement dulls and the dates feel routine as opposed to something you two are excited about.



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So, in the beginning, keep the dates to one a week.

Think, quality of dates over quantity.

I know that this is hard for those who are incredibly excited about each other.

But restraint pays off big time.


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4 thoughts on “How Often Do You See A Person You Just Started Dating?”

  1. Need some advice asap on my new relationship. I’m 54 yrs of age, and my new partner is in my age bracket. We have both been thru tough times in our past r/ships. We live 4 hrs drive apart, and am having a “slight prob” with the i miss her factor when i’m not with her, but it’s nothing dramatic, just a niggle. If someone who loves their space now at an older age in life, does it mean they don’t love their partner enough if they see each other say once a week for about 2 or 3 nights each time before around another week apart. Am i wrong for saying to myself, ” if she loves me like she says she does, and has happily accepted my promise ring and has introduced me to all her family, and many of her friends who all approve of me and get along great with me and have all given a big thumbs up for us, why would she not want to see be around me more often”. Does the frequency of our meetings have anything to do with how strongly she feels about me. My new woman is a wonderful person who has been verbally and physically abused in past r/ships, and only a yr ago, vowed to her family and friends that she’d never trust a man again. The first 2 weeks or so of our meetings she kept from family and friends for fear of them thinking she was mad for opening up to a man again after saying she’d never trust again, but a week or so later, she posted on her facebook wall about us and how happy she was with us, and asked her friends not to comment if negative about us. She got an overwhelming thumbs up from family and friends who said they were happy to see her happy again, and to be treated like a lady. I guess what i’m asking lol is, is it possible to be crazy about someone if you meet them around once a week. She works an average of 6 days a week cleaning a huge accommodation park at present as it’s the silly season, so loves her me time. That silly inner voice inside me sometimes says, “worn out or not, if you love someone enough, wouldn’t you want to see them more often cos we can still give each other space when around each other”. Am babbling a little here, but am desperate for advice. Pls help.

  2. Hi Will,

    She may not want to be around you more often because she is worried about letting herself get too close to you.

    She has a past of verbally and physically abusive relationships.

    This may be causing her to remain more cautious about seeing you more for fear of opening herself up to vulnerability once more.

    The frequency of your meetings does show that she is into you but at only once a week, she may be trying to play it safe.

    One dose of you a week for two or three nights may be all she feels like she can handle at the moment. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t care about you, but it could mean that she really wants to take this slow and easy.

    She may not necessarily be crazy about you but meeting you only once a week doesn’t mean that she will never get to that point.

    The fact that she works 6 days a week does indicate that she has developed an independent streak and a routine. It will take some time for her to be willing to let that routine change for the sake of spending more time with you.

    Her work may honestly be a way she uses to cope with whatever emotional damage her previous relationships caused.

    Yes, if a person loves someone enough, they would want to see them more often.

    However, she may not be quite so in love with you at this stage. She may need more time to get there.

    In conclusion, you may need to give her more time in order for her to learn to trust you before she would be willing to let herself see you more often.

  3. I think once a week is a good start. I try not to have dates last more than 2-3 hours. However, what I have experienced (more than once) is that the guy begins to pull away and wants to slow things down after things have been going smoothly. I met a great guy and we saw each other once a week and talked regularly whether text, email, or phone for three weeks straight. We communicated every day. He would initiate phone and email and texting was initiated equally. After three dates, I barely heard from him and barely hear from him now. Our fourth date was serious. And I have not heard from him since. I texted him only once and I got no reply.

    I feel like he is no longer interested so I might just give up. I am going to call him out on his crap if this continues. Maybe he was is a jerk and likes to be a player or has no interest in a relationship.

    I do have expectations of dating and they are not outrageous either. Things seem to be on his terms now and which is something I don’t agree with. Two people should make time for each other.

  4. Hi Annoyed_Dater,

    Yes, once a week is a good start.

    You are also right about the possibility that the guy you have been dating may be a player or a guy who has no interest in a relationship.

    Since conversation was so good and consistent between you in the beginning, the interaction was seemingly going well.

    Perhaps he stopped calling or emailing you because he came to the realization that you wanted a serious relationship and he wasn’t willing to make that kind of commitment.

    Since this has happened to you more than once, you may want to start taking note of the kind of guys you have been choosing to date.

    It may help you have a better understanding of the kind of guys to avoid in the future.

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