It’s natural to have a degree of jealousy when you think about the exes of a girl you are in a relationship with.

This doesn’t make you a bad guy or a bad boyfriend.

You are thinking about your girlfriend’s exes as a result of a sense of insecurity.

An insecurity that exists within your relationship with her.

Innately, you don’t believe that you meet all of her needs as her boyfriend.

You are insecure about something.

Think about it.

What do you feel insecure about in your relationship with your girlfriend?

Do you have insecurities in the sex life that you have with her, or the social activities that you do with her?

Is there a deficiency in these areas?

What about your finances?

Do you make less money than her exes?

Are you not as professionally accomplished as her exes?

Is your level of education subpar in comparison to her exes?

Consider your physical looks.

Do you believe that you are less physically attractive than her exes?

Given that you are aware that women prefer tall guys, are you shorter than her exes?

These are but a few of the insecurities that have a hand in making a boyfriend obsess over his girlfriend’s exes.

When you get caught up in insecurities, you are setting yourself up for failure.

These insecurities become a focal point of your life and mindset.

You are suddenly working on these insecurities in a bid to be better than her exes, but these areas aren’t necessarily your strengths.

This is where you go astray.

You convince yourself that if only you get that next promotion at work, you would match up to an ex of hers.

Ergo, you strive at work to get that promotion, but by the time you get it, said ex has already gotten a new promotion or moved on to a better-paying job.

All of a sudden it feels as though all that effort was for naught.

In a different instance, you want to get yourself a nicer car so that you match that of one of her exes.

You end up buying a car you can barely afford, just as said ex buys himself a better car a few months later.

Unwittingly, you are chasing the accomplishments of these exes, but they are constantly ahead of you, making it nigh impossible to catch up with them.

Chasing their accomplishments becomes what you are about, and you take your focus away from your relationship.

Once your girlfriend realizes that she doesn’t have your attention as she once did, she becomes insecure in the relationship, wondering whether you are seeing someone else behind her back.

Meanwhile, you are obsessed with chasing the accomplishments of her exes.

A lack of trust sets in, as your girlfriend obsesses over the idea that you are cheating on her.

This, coupled with a lack of her emotional needs getting met, leads to her making a decision to break up with you.

You never wanted this.

Now that you have a preview of this unwanted future, it’s time to stop thinking about your girlfriend’s exes.

There is a reason why she chose to date you.

You have qualities that she adores.

Focus on making those qualities that much better so that she appreciates you that much more.

Work on bettering your strengths, not on chasing the accomplishments of her exes.